Together

     When a child has a chronic health issue and/or learning disability or special needs of any type, it is common for him to feel and to be perceived as different. He can often feel excluded from some of the typical activities of childhood: play dates, sleep-overs, birthday parties and later, hang-outs, trips to the mall, proms, dances and other parties. This can be heart-rending. In the past we often invited girls over but they always seemed to end up playing with our typical daughter who is four years younger. High school is problematic; our daughter finds girls hard to approach or maintain a relationship with; sometimes boys are easier but that comes with its own set of challenges. Sometimes the child self-excludes; our daughter never got enough sleep at the sleep-overs she was invited to so she decided not to attend them. A boy we know goes to the library every day, sits in front of a computer, headphones on and blocks everything and everyone else out for the remainder of his lunch period.
     There are islands of acceptance out there. As I have already written, Special Olympics and Challenger Baseball are marvelous for the friendship, team-building, competence and inclusion that they provide. Our daughter loves them! Places like Semiahmoo House in our community offer a wide range of programs for developmentally challenged kids, teens and young adults. Church youth groups and the local children's choir are accepting; the adults in charge model inclusion and acceptance but that sometimes does not carry over into real, more-than-one-day-a-week actual friendship.
     Let's face it, extraordinary needs kids are different. How they are typical is the way in which they hunger for friendship, connection, a bond of understanding which says: "I like you and want to spend time with you, enjoying the things we like to do. Together. " If only it was as simple as it sounds.

Team

     For three years our daughter has been in high school, in a program for kids like her, in the care of some pretty amazing teachers and aids. A recent assessment concluded what we already knew: our daughter is in the right place there. It's not always easy to find a place where a extraordinary needs child can get along, much less flourish. I know that well enough by reading the posts in the various parent groups I am part of on Facebook. All over the world folks are struggling to find accessible education for their children that is meaningful and inclusive. Fortunately for us, that is not an issue.
     The caring and competent women who make up our daughter's team work hard to ensure that she is safe, organized and learning every day. We cannot imagine how our daughter would get through her school day without them. Whether they are assisting her in class or ensuring that she is safe during a seizure, they do an incredible job. My husband and I could not be happier with the education our daughter is getting at our local high school. The only thing that would make it better is if that shiny new high school they keep promising us would get built. But even in the old overcrowded one, our team is the best and we know it.