Faithful

   

   
     In the past week we have had the privilege of spending time with a couple of old friends. The husband has been dying in hospital and his wife has been at his side, tirelessly, constantly, holding his hand. It has been a sad time but also a confirmation of all that marriage can be: steady, enduring, sharing and resilient.
     This couple have been together for over thirty years, have four amazing children and have made a wonderful life together in our small community. We met them at our church over fifteen years ago and although we have not spent a lot of time together recently, we both have thought of them often. They are a family of fine people--- caring, responsible and real.
     This husband and father knew that to be faithful in the little things is a big thing. He made huge breakfasts for his children, got them to church every Sunday, did mounds of laundry, often and cheerfully. He was a great dad. This family spent this last Christmas together and when he was seemingly no longer with them they told funny daddy stories. Lots of them. One of the outstanding things about spending this time with him and his wife in the hospital was hearing some of these stories: the funny daddy stories, the even funnier husband and wife stories, and the stories that made their family what it was: precious, rare and real.
     Our friend is gone but he will live on in the memories of his four wonderful children and his warm and loving wife. He will live on in the memories of all of us who valued him as a man and a friend. Happy fishing my friend.... 

Rejection

                                                                         

     One of the hardest experiences of parenting an extraordinary needs child is witnessing their rejection by other children. Social success as a young person seems centred on being like everyone else. When you are different, this type of success is scant at best. When not being able to understand social cues, body language and  facial expression are part of the reason that you are different then not only are you unsuccessful but you are not able to understand why. The mystery is unsolvable; the clues are hidden.
     Our daughter has been treated extraordinarily kindly at times. An elementary school friend recently included her in a birthday dinner even though they attend different high schools in different cities; she took the time and made the effort to include our daughter. There have also been occasions of ignorance and rudeness perpetrated by girls who should know better. You expect strangers to let you down---you don't expect it from family friends.
     As a mother it is intolerable to me that these incidents occur; I find it wretched and heart-breaking. That my daughter continues to be cheerful, polite and caring in the face of this proves that she is the better person --- better than me certainly and better definitely than the unthinking, unfeeling person who has shut her out. Our daughter continues to prove by word and example what a truly exceptional person she is in every way. In the face of negativity, although she is hurt, she moves forward with a smile. That is why she is and always will be my hero, bar none.