Hero

     Yesterday, I was helping our eldest daughter look for her locker key. We had dropped by the high school to pick up some forgotten homework and afterwards the key was not where it was supposed to be. Looking for lost things is not my favourite thing; when my eldest is involved, it takes on a sort of panicky flavour. Whether that is because of me or because of her, I am not sure. Just know that we were anxious about it. She went to bed and I kept looking. While checking through her zippered binder, I noticed that she had filled in the answer to the question, "Who is your hero?" with the answer, "My mom".
     I was very surprised. I would have thought her answer to that question would be Justin Bieber or Taylor Swift or maybe even a younger, hipper family member. She had written it in a binder she almost never brings home, for a class in which I rarely see her work. It was something that I might never have seen, if not for the lost key. I was surprised because most days I don't feel very heroic: impatient, short-tempered, task-oriented, humourless, yes--- heroic, no.
     What stuns me even further is that she does not realize that it is she who has the heroic qualities.  As hard as her life is, between the seizures and the learning differences, both of which are overwhelmingly challenging at times, she wakes up cheerfully almost every day and hardly ever feels sorry for herself. She is kind to everyone she knows and to people she doesn't know. She is patient and generous, considerate and thoughtful, fun and funny. She is a loving big sister, daughter, granddaughter, cousin and niece. She is faithful in the little things, which is a big thing; quick to apologize, slow to anger, happy to be happy. She loves helping people, she loves animals, she loves music, she loves God and she loves her family. She of course, has her moments--- she is human after all. But basically, she is amazing. And that is why I am telling you now---she is my hero.

Purple Day Again

     Another photograph and article about our eldest daughter and her upcoming speeches about epilepsy and Purple Day appeared in the local paper. It is surprising to me how many folks read the local news. Anyway, it has given her a little extra attention these days which tends to balance out the anxiety caused by speaking in public. Also she has been having seizures despite the antiepileptic medication she started in September which is very stressful for us all. We have been upping the dose after every seizure to find an acceptable level: no seizures and no side effects. When one of the side effects could be a potentially fatal rash, we want to make sure that we are only administering what is needed to be seizure free and raise the dosage very slowly.
     As I commented in the article, it is very brave of our daughter to speak to her peers about her seizures, just as it is courageous of her to be interviewed in the paper--- everyone is going to know. With that fact comes the possibility that she will be harassed or teased for revealing her epilepsy. This was in fact, her grandparents' biggest fear. I pointed out to them though that we choose to live openly and deal with the consequences as they come. As it was Pink Shirt Day, the anti-bullying day, it only seemed right.
     One of the reasons that Cassidy Megan started Purple Day was that she wanted other kids with epilepsy to know that they weren't alone. How can those kids feel part of something bigger if we are all hiding our challenges? Who will be the first to say: "I live with this. I don't like it but I deal with it."?  Well in our case, it will be our daughter. I could not be prouder of her and I know her dad feels the same way. As she stated in her simple yet eloquent way," If people don't like me because I have seizures, then I don't need them in my life!" Right on, girl--- you tell them!