Sisters

     As a parent there is nothing more wonderful than seeing your children interact with each other in a gentle, loving manner. It can almost be surprising to witness this type of exchange, particularly when they were mercilessly, endlessly squabbling just minutes ago. It can hopefully give you a glimpse into their future relationship and makes the whole world seem like a more peaceful, caring place. I came across our daughters chatting with one another while one was taking a bath. Earlier one daughter had given the other a "makeover" and they had so much fun with it that you could not imagine a harsh word between them again. Just wait five minutes!
     When one of your children has extraordinary needs, your typical child must grow up faster. In our case our younger child has had to learn to care for and look after her older sister. She has timed seizures, brought medication and replenished water. The tables are turned, birth order becomes irrelevant and that does not always seem fair or right. A workshop a friend had recently attended featured a panel of siblings of special needs kids. One of the comments from a panel-member that stood out for her was the desire to have had a typical sibling as well as their special needs sibling: someone to share their experience with, to bounce ideas around, to talk about their lives. Those things are harder to do with a developmentally challenged brother or sister who may not want to or be able to engage in such philosophical or existential discussions.
     When I witness the love and affection that exists between our daughters I am gladdened and not so worried. As an older parent I am more than concerned about our additional needs child. I can save money for her future but who will look out for her, support her, give her help when I am gone? These are questions that I suppose must be left in God's capable hands. What cheers me is looking around my own kitchen table and realizing that He will have some help.

Better

   

     Our daughter seems to be having these very small, very short complex partial seizures which are over in a minute or less. Unfortunately these call into question a couple of falls that she had this summer; we now suspect that they were more of these tiny seizures. The good thing about them is that they are not the massively dangerous, drop-to-the-ground five minute tonic clinic seizures that have dominated our daughter's life with epilepsy. The bad thing is that they are seizures and they are still happening. And of course, if she is standing at the time they occur, she falls, which can be very serious. She has been fortunate not to have broken any bones or teeth so far. Even so our daughter is disheartened by having to start counting the days again. As a sixteen year old she has dreams of buying and driving her own car; she has had a bank account for that express purpose ever since we can remember. So starting over at being one day seizure-free is quite depressing but she is not down for long. Our daughter is wonderfully cheerful despite her challenges.
     The good news is that Special Olympics has brought with it, along with the fun and exercise of a weekly sports game, the chance for new and lasting friendships. Our daughter is always encouraged, despite everything, by the positive aspects of her life. Fortunately for her and all of us in her circle, she views her life as a gift; it is a wealth of possibility with every day full of the ability to be better.