As a parent there is nothing more wonderful than seeing your children interact with each other in a gentle, loving manner. It can almost be surprising to witness this type of exchange, particularly when they were mercilessly, endlessly squabbling just minutes ago. It can hopefully give you a glimpse into their future relationship and makes the whole world seem like a more peaceful, caring place. I came across our daughters chatting with one another while one was taking a bath. Earlier one daughter had given the other a "makeover" and they had so much fun with it that you could not imagine a harsh word between them again. Just wait five minutes!
When one of your children has extraordinary needs, your typical child must grow up faster. In our case our younger child has had to learn to care for and look after her older sister. She has timed seizures, brought medication and replenished water. The tables are turned, birth order becomes irrelevant and that does not always seem fair or right. A workshop a friend had recently attended featured a panel of siblings of special needs kids. One of the comments from a panel-member that stood out for her was the desire to have had a typical sibling as well as their special needs sibling: someone to share their experience with, to bounce ideas around, to talk about their lives. Those things are harder to do with a developmentally challenged brother or sister who may not want to or be able to engage in such philosophical or existential discussions.
When I witness the love and affection that exists between our daughters I am gladdened and not so worried. As an older parent I am more than concerned about our additional needs child. I can save money for her future but who will look out for her, support her, give her help when I am gone? These are questions that I suppose must be left in God's capable hands. What cheers me is looking around my own kitchen table and realizing that He will have some help.
When one of your children has extraordinary needs, your typical child must grow up faster. In our case our younger child has had to learn to care for and look after her older sister. She has timed seizures, brought medication and replenished water. The tables are turned, birth order becomes irrelevant and that does not always seem fair or right. A workshop a friend had recently attended featured a panel of siblings of special needs kids. One of the comments from a panel-member that stood out for her was the desire to have had a typical sibling as well as their special needs sibling: someone to share their experience with, to bounce ideas around, to talk about their lives. Those things are harder to do with a developmentally challenged brother or sister who may not want to or be able to engage in such philosophical or existential discussions.
When I witness the love and affection that exists between our daughters I am gladdened and not so worried. As an older parent I am more than concerned about our additional needs child. I can save money for her future but who will look out for her, support her, give her help when I am gone? These are questions that I suppose must be left in God's capable hands. What cheers me is looking around my own kitchen table and realizing that He will have some help.
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