Ask

     One of the values that my parents instilled in me as a young person was the importance of being independent. They were after all a living example of this; at the ages of twenty-three and twenty-six, my parents brought their two and a half year old daughter and their six month old son to Trois Rivieres, Quebec from England. They knew virtually nobody there and their English public school french was going to be of little help in this mostly francophone community. However, my father had a job for a steel company there and so that's where their future lay, far away from any friends and family of their own. Our family grew and moved around; life in Canada was good.
     Independence is an important step in any young person's life. Ask any parent. The goal of our double digit years is to move away, if not always physically, then certainly psychologically from our family of origin. This is how we develop our own sense of self, one where we rely on ourselves to cope with the complexities of every day life. Sometimes though we need help, especially if there are intellectual or physical challenges. Independence can seem like an uphill battle when bodies and minds are not able.
     Our daughter is set to attend a skill development program in the fall to learn how to cope with a myriad of topics. The four streams of learning are: employment, health and wellness, transportation and life-skills. Over the course of her short life, she has learnt that independence is crucial but when needed, assistance is available. All you have to do is ask.

Grad

 

     Now that our oldest daughter has graduated, we realize that so many people helped make this day happen. From the people who daily assisted her to the folks that offered up special kindnesses recently, we have been blessed with so much! The abundance of care and concern that has been the hallmark of our daughter's years through high school has been extraordinary. Getting any child through high school alive, unscathed and still with an idea of the promise life ahead presents for them is a huge challenge. Getting a child with an IEP through high school can be especially challenging.
     That night none of that mattered as our daughter and her friend danced for hours, encouraged by the camaraderie and friendship of their fellow graduates. It was a rare and perfect night in a largely imperfect world; a night when our daughter felt like she was like everybody else, and for a few hours she was. It was the stuff of Disney movies but instead of running out of the ballroom at midnight and leaving a glass slipper or her cell phone behind, she ended the evening by giving one of her school principals a big hug. It was a much deserved hug. This nice woman made sure that our daughter and her date could side-step the pre-dance event and arrive in her own vehicle, a borrowed Mini. It was not a pumpkin but it was not much bigger and through the kindness of a friend was ours for the evening.
     For a few hours there were no problems, no differences, no handicaps, no disabilities, no feelings of being anything less or more than what she was: a teenage girl at her high school prom.