Since our eldest daughter entered the school system I, among others, have been her advocate. Whether at school, church, work, sports, with friends and peers, various levels of government, with non-profit organizations, and even with a cruise line, we have worked to educate folks about epilepsy and Nonverbal Learning Disorder. In order to get the level of support she requires we have needed to make people realize how challenging life is for her. Her family and I have tried to give her every opportunity to learn, grow and develop and do what it takes to live safely and securely in the world. We have found it strenuous at times and easier at other times. The point is, it had to be done.
It's no secret that the typical siblings of additional needs children often feel as though they do not get an equal amount of support. How could they not? Having a special needs child can often absorb parents' attention especially when there is a dual diagnosis or multiple aspects of need. The balancing act required to keep all those balls in the air is daunting at best, exhausting at its worst.
But since our youngest daughter joined our family, I have also been her advocate, although not to the same extent. As parents, advocating, supporting and protecting our children is part of the job description. The difference is as our typical kids grow up they become their own advocates and we relinquish that role. Part of the work of being a teenager is the transition from child to self-advocate and adult.
Our special needs children also need to learn to advocate for themselves; hopefully that is one of the things we model and teach them. It is a life-long lesson that extends into their adulthood. Due to their abilities and challenges, the role of advocate is always part of who we are as their parents and why we are worried about their lives, after we are gone. Who will advocate for them then? Who indeed?
It's no secret that the typical siblings of additional needs children often feel as though they do not get an equal amount of support. How could they not? Having a special needs child can often absorb parents' attention especially when there is a dual diagnosis or multiple aspects of need. The balancing act required to keep all those balls in the air is daunting at best, exhausting at its worst.
But since our youngest daughter joined our family, I have also been her advocate, although not to the same extent. As parents, advocating, supporting and protecting our children is part of the job description. The difference is as our typical kids grow up they become their own advocates and we relinquish that role. Part of the work of being a teenager is the transition from child to self-advocate and adult.
Our special needs children also need to learn to advocate for themselves; hopefully that is one of the things we model and teach them. It is a life-long lesson that extends into their adulthood. Due to their abilities and challenges, the role of advocate is always part of who we are as their parents and why we are worried about their lives, after we are gone. Who will advocate for them then? Who indeed?
