Fifty-seven

      Our daughter had a seizure after being fifty-seven months seizure free; that's four years and nine months of independence, free from injury, fear and worry. I know that this happens every day in the lives of people with epilepsy. Long periods of what feels like a typical person's life completely interrupted by this dangerous flash of a loss of consciousness accompanied by one or more of all the possible dangers that you can imagine: traffic, stairs, the kitchen, showers, baths, the pool, the gym, her bed, just to name a few. My imagination as a mother can come up with innumerable scenarios. But knowing others experience it doesn't make it any easier for our daughter unfortunately. She is twenty-six after all and has no desire to be joined at the hip with me or anyone else for that matter. I get it. But here we are again.

     When there is no trigger, no apparent cause, medications were taken, sleep was good, no alcohol consumed, there is all the second guessing that goes on..."What could she have done differently?"..."What could I have done differently?" And the ever popular "So why did this happen?" These questions play on an endless loop as well. There are no answers. Then there is the inevitability of starting the count again; today is day one, seizure free.

     So we have to look at the blessings: she was with caring folks, she was not in a dangerous place, she was attended to quickly and caringly, she was not badly injured. After a relatively positive experience at the ER we leave with a prescription for an increased dosage of one of her anti-seizure medications. And we count our blessings as we count our days. God willing, tomorrow will be day two, seizure free.

 

Hope

     What are you hoping for these days? The World Series is over so that's not on my list anymore but seriously, what are your hopes right now? The answer is easy for our daughter. Her biggest and most abiding hope is to live in Harmony. In case you don't know, Harmony, which is currently being built, is a 91 rental unit, 6 story building which is inclusive, accessible, supportive and affordable for folks with disabilities, seniors, students and others who need below market housing and want to live here in the White Rock/South Surrey area. Sounds simple doesn't it?
     It has been a dream years in the making with so many amazing people from UNITI and the Semiahmoo Foundation making big plans so that it might be a reality. The scope of the thing defies description here but in our world it comes down to one very simple thing which could bring about huge transformation and growth for our eldest daughter: hope. Her hope, our hope, the hope of a large group of extended family and friends is that she might find a place there. I don't think you realize what a big deal it is to live independently until you are told that you probably can't do it. It is something almost all of us take for granted.

     Our daughter grew up thinking that she would always live with us until she discovered the possibility of independence that Semiahmoo House, UNITI and Harmony presented. As older parents we have faced the reality of our own mortality with honesty; we are in the declining years of our lives. So the prospect of this safe, inclusive housing for our daughter was the answer to prayer. 

     We know that there is no guarantee that she will moving in to Harmony in just over a year; the list is long and the demand, very high. But the hope, the possibility, the reality of such a home available if not to her, then to others like her, is a beautiful thing! So we keep on praying and hoping....