Flower 2

     The little flower stall that our daughter is running has been such a success! She has enough orders and flowers to be busy almost every day. There is always watering and restocking of supplies to be done and as a silent partner in her enterprise, I am enjoying it a great deal. We made a little video for Facebook which was fun and being outside all the time is wonderful. The girls have taken to spending their afternoons reading a book under the big red umbrella.
     There have been some quiet afternoons but there has also been a triple digit day....$100.00 buys a lot of sunflowers! We have also seen some folks that we haven't seen in a while and reconnected with some neighbours. Unfortunately, we have lost some stock due to the plants being so big and tall and just falling over. Also the unrelenting sun has been hard on some of the plants, but such is the life of a business person. Our daughter is learning about the responsibilities of self-employment and how hard that life can be. Overall though it has been a lot of fun and has made for many steps on our respective Fitbits!
     I wanted to thank everyone for their support of our daughter and her summer project so far whether it has been through Facebook or by buying sunflowers or just by thinking of her. She has been enjoying her sunflower summer and is a year and a half seizure free. What else could we possibly ask for?

Flower

     One of the benefits of the social skills program that our eldest daughter participated in, instead of an over year, was the time she had to think about what she wanted to do in the future. She realized that she would like to work in the field of flowers, no pun intended. As an almost 19 year old our daughter has had little experience in this area except for what she has seen at home. I am an avid though not very good gardener; I am lazy with weeds but love to putter in the garden and find watering a welcome relief from the heat in summer. However it came to be, our daughter figured out that this is something that she cares about, something that she wants to do.
     With that in mind, we decided to attempt a very small entrepreneurial project over the summer: she would grow sunflowers and sell them. On April 25 we planted the various varieties of sunflower seeds that we had ordered from a local seed company. She has planted, watered and weeded and the results are spectacular! In our two raised beds she has grown several varieties of different sizes of sunflowers and they are incredible. From the smaller Teddy Bear sunflowers featured in a famous painting by Van Gogh to the massively tall Russian beauties, we have them all. They have been painstakingly cared for over the spring and now have bloomed, generously, gloriously laden with flowers.
     She has sold some and has found the experience positive and interesting. She could use a few more customers at this point but is not daunted. However this summer unfolds, it will be what it should be: an opportunity to learn; small steps forward in the journey.

Husband

     My husband likes to kid me and make jokes about the number of husbands I have had; he refers to my similarities with Elizabeth Taylor and references a joke that includes a large ship which I will not relate here as this is a family-oriented story. As true as these remarks may or may not be there is only one person with whom I wanted to have children and that is my husband.
     From the start he impressed me with his love and concern for his son, a child he raised with the help of family, since his son was one. When I met my husband, that son was almost 20 years old but my husband's affection for and pride in his child was unmistakable. That has not wavered in the almost 25 years that we have been together.
     Children love my husband and he loves them. If there is a baby in the room he will be holding her. If there is some fun to be had outside he will take part in it. If there is a game going on somewhere in the house, he will be playing too. He loves kids: their energy, their enjoyment of life, their imagination, their ability to be in the moment. Coincidentally those are all qualities which he possesses in abundance.
     When our daughters were babies he took them with him everywhere. When they woke in the night, hungry or needing a cuddle he was the first one there. Working anywhere but from home was difficult for him as he wanted just to be with them. Even as our daughters have become teenagers, he would still rather be with them than anyone else in the world.
     My husband is not without faults, even he will tell you that. When it comes to children though, he is the best husband and father, ever. And we know it! Happy Father's Day everyone!

65

     I found a cool inlaid wooden box with twelve compartments at a thrift store and as my husband is soon to have a significant birthday, his 65th, I bought it. I thought with his eight siblings and three children and I, we will fill those little compartments with poems and pictures quite easily, and he will have a lovely box. Of course the pages and pages I received, once asked for, were more than the box could contain, neatly anyway. I tried various ways of getting these pieces of paper to fit in the box but short of shredding them, it just wouldn't work.
     It was difficult for me to give up on the idea of the box; it was pristine. My heart was set on it. What to do, what to do?  Do something else of course. A memory box must become a memory book instead. However I don't like it when things don't turn out the way I want them to, but isn't that the way life is? Does everything turn out the way you want it to? Stuff happens. Big or small, some things we roll with better than others. It's how we handle these upsets and diversions that keeps things interesting; going with the flow makes life easier and probably longer too. I will endeavour to let things go. Really.
     Anyway the old guy will get a gift one way or the another. He will be happy either way. And isn't that what matters after all? Happy birthday Paul!

Walk

     Our older daughter participated again this year in the 20th Annual Special Olympics Walk-a-thon, their yearly fundraiser, in support of all B.C. Special O sports. It was a beautiful day weather-wise and an upbeat and wonderful day otherwise. Our daughter had spoken at her father's Rotary Club and as always the club was supportive and several of the members came out to walk with us. Our daughter had also garnered some very generous support from her aunties, a couple of whom also came and walked with her. So she had a friendly posse to accompany her through the park and we all benefited from the experience; walking and talking with nice folks in the sunshine is a great thing and when it supports a worthy cause like Special Olympics, we all win.
    As we strolled along the paths I could not help but look around at the diverse array of human beings around us. With every step I was slowly overwhelmed with a sensation that my body was overfull: full of pride for our daughter's accomplishment, full of love for everyone who came to support our daughter and full of gratitude for the opportunity to meet all these amazing people, people whom we would have never met, if not for our daughter and her disability.
     Again this year our daughter was recognized as being one of the top fund-raisers for this year's Walk-a-thon. As I watched her though, surrounded by old and new friends, and friends yet to be, I realized that it was not the money raised that was important, it was the richness of friendship, the comfort of community, a feeling of safety and welcome in a world that sometimes forgets who we are....
   

Summer

     Among the several pregnancy losses I experienced the first one hit me the hardest. Her name was to be Summer and we memorialised her with the planting of a Japanese maple tree. Deeply red, small and portable, it followed us from the house we rented to our own home in a thick wooden box. For many years it held a place on the island of our circular driveway, easily seen from the kitchen window, a view I gazed upon thousands of times. Today the planter finally gave up as the bottom of the box had rotted.  I tipped it out, took everything I could plant elsewhere and worked to spread the excess soil around. I did not remember that I had put my hospital bracelet inside a film container and a small white stone in the soil with our baby's tree. Finding it today brought me back to a moment many years ago, before our daughters were born when any and everything seemed possible and most of our lives were before us. Those things have changed but our lives do hold the promise of the daughters we now have. Their paths will no doubt have vastly different trajectories but will hopefully be long and content. Today the promise of another little life was unexpectedly rediscovered by me, sweet and rife with memories; a sunny, busy Sunday became a unique and bittersweet day, a day worth savouring....

Letter

Dear One,
     The tears you cried this morning were seen, heard and felt by me deeply. Wishing we had someone else's life is not unusual; it is part of the human journey and one that many of us experience from time to time. Your desire to have a typical life like your siblings is probably common too but no less heartfelt. Your road is a different one and will be rockier and more treacherous at times. Getting an education, making friends, playing sports, being healthy, finding a job, these things have all been more difficult for you. I too have sometimes wanted an easier path for you, but not a different one. I do not want someone else's life for you because then you would be somebody else. You would not be you. I love you: untypical, funny, special, friendly, intellectually disabled, helpful, good-at-so-many-things you.
     The world judges us harshly at times but sometimes we judge ourselves the most harshly. I know that you have heard words like retarded, stupid and dumb. Anyone who uses those words to describe you does not know you very well. You know more than most people about courage, faith, hope and love. When you use those words to describe yourself you are doing yourself and everyone who loves you a disservice. We know who you are and love you for that very reason. You are exactly who you are supposed to be and your life is yours, to live as you choose. Your choices may be fewer but they will be yours and I hope will bring you a life of contented fulfillment along with some funny stories to share around the dinner table.
     I cannot begin to tell you how rich you have made my life, every single day that you have shared it. Not only have you grown and learnt and become the unique person that you are but you have helped shape me and make me a better person and I would never change that, ever. Thank you for being you.
Always,
Mama