Fifty-seven

      Our daughter had a seizure after being fifty-seven months seizure free; that's four years and nine months of independence, free from injury, fear and worry. I know that this happens every day in the lives of people with epilepsy. Long periods of what feels like a typical person's life completely interrupted by this dangerous flash of a loss of consciousness accompanied by one or more of all the possible dangers that you can imagine: traffic, stairs, the kitchen, showers, baths, the pool, the gym, her bed, just to name a few. My imagination as a mother can come up with innumerable scenarios. But knowing others experience it doesn't make it any easier for our daughter unfortunately. She is twenty-six after all and has no desire to be joined at the hip with me or anyone else for that matter. I get it. But here we are again.

     When there is no trigger, no apparent cause, medications were taken, sleep was good, no alcohol consumed, there is all the second guessing that goes on..."What could she have done differently?"..."What could I have done differently?" And the ever popular "So why did this happen?" These questions play on an endless loop as well. There are no answers. Then there is the inevitability of starting the count again; today is day one, seizure free.

     So we have to look at the blessings: she was with caring folks, she was not in a dangerous place, she was attended to quickly and caringly, she was not badly injured. After a relatively positive experience at the ER we leave with a prescription for an increased dosage of one of her anti-seizure medications. And we count our blessings as we count our days. God willing, tomorrow will be day two, seizure free.

 

Hope

     What are you hoping for these days? The World Series is over so that's not on my list anymore but seriously, what are your hopes right now? The answer is easy for our daughter. Her biggest and most abiding hope is to live in Harmony. In case you don't know, Harmony, which is currently being built, is a 91 rental unit, 6 story building which is inclusive, accessible, supportive and affordable for folks with disabilities, seniors, students and others who need below market housing and want to live here in the White Rock/South Surrey area. Sounds simple doesn't it?
     It has been a dream years in the making with so many amazing people from UNITI and the Semiahmoo Foundation making big plans so that it might be a reality. The scope of the thing defies description here but in our world it comes down to one very simple thing which could bring about huge transformation and growth for our eldest daughter: hope. Her hope, our hope, the hope of a large group of extended family and friends is that she might find a place there. I don't think you realize what a big deal it is to live independently until you are told that you probably can't do it. It is something almost all of us take for granted.

     Our daughter grew up thinking that she would always live with us until she discovered the possibility of independence that Semiahmoo House, UNITI and Harmony presented. As older parents we have faced the reality of our own mortality with honesty; we are in the declining years of our lives. So the prospect of this safe, inclusive housing for our daughter was the answer to prayer. 

     We know that there is no guarantee that she will moving in to Harmony in just over a year; the list is long and the demand, very high. But the hope, the possibility, the reality of such a home available if not to her, then to others like her, is a beautiful thing! So we keep on praying and hoping....

Stranger

     Today I was given a shopping cart by a man in the Super Store parking lot. I already had a loonie coin clutched in my hand. It’s one of the negatives of shopping there; you always have to have a dollar to get a cart, which is not always convenient but there you go. I tried to give him my coin and he refused. He indicated that he had been given the cart and it was now mine. It was a pleasant exchange and I did my shopping feeling a bit more upbeat. With the price of food, grocery buying is never fun, right? After my purchases were complete, I saw a woman parked near my car who was heading for the carts. I stopped her and indicated that she could have mine. She tried to give me her loonie and I told her that I didn’t want it—- I had been given the cart by someone else. She gave me a big smile and expressed gratitude and surprise at the chain of events. It occurred to me then that I was a link in that chain. 

     All this is building up to the fact that the last week in November is National Talk to a Stranger week. (Is it just me or is it bizarre that we have to be encouraged to do the simplest of acts--- saying "hi" to someone we don't know?) According to the website, Talk To A Stranger Week is "an opportunity to build a sense of connection and community many need in a post-pandemic world. It is seizing the opportunity that many of us have each day to make a difference in our own lives and the lives of others by simply saying hello, smiling or striking up a conversation with a stranger." 

     I know that I am old and in the way but I regularly talk to strangers especially when I am walking the dogs and 99% of the time I am glad I did. As I am an introvert it is not always easy but I endorse this practice absolutely! My small experience at the grocery store is just one of the many that I have every week. I'm sure that you have them too--- unexpected interactions that leave you feeling more human, more humble and a tiny bit happier. If not, try it! I guarantee that most folks will say "hi" back. If not, their dogs will!

Walk 3

     As you are probably aware by now the Walk & Roll for Harmony 2025 was a massive success! Our team "Hearts for Harmony" more than met their goal of $5,000.00 by raising over $6,100.00 in support of Harmony: inclusive, supportive and affordable housing for all. So many friends and family members gave generously to our team members and we are all very grateful! A few of them also turned up for the run which was so encouraging. To top it off UNITI & Harmony more than made their goal of $100,000.00 by raising over $115,000.00!

     The walk was a festive affair with VIPs, dignitaries, sponsors and even Korky the Klown and associates in attendance. Doug Tennant, Executive Director of Semiahmoo House Society and host of the event welcomed us all. The icing on the cake was that the weather cooperated and we had perfect conditions for the day. Different teams had decked themselves out with signs and colourful accessories. There were friends everywhere we looked! Our daughter walked as many laps as she could in the time allotted, which was far too little as far as she was concerned. It seems she could have walked and walked....

     It was a beautiful experience--- a real testament to the impact of Semiahmoo House Society and UNITI in our community. As one participant's sign so wonderfully put it, "Every step brings us closer to home". What could be simpler or more eloquent than that? Because essentially that's why we were all there: to provide a place that any member of our society could call home, right here in our own community. 

Walk 2

     Our twenty-six year old daughter and her friends have been raising funds and awareness for their ultimate goal: to live independently, to live in Harmony. This is no small feat. Money is tight for many of us especially now and there are so many worthy causes reaching out for our attention and our funds. I like to think about what a miracle a place like Harmony will be: affordable, inclusive and supportive housing for a person who, in the past, might never have been able to live on her own.      
     The model that UNITI has found successful is reflected in their first community immediately adjacent to Semiahmoo House which is called Chorus. There developmentally disabled people live in harmony with others: retired folks, new Canadians and students; folks who need below market housing in our community. There they find common goals, mutual support, safety, security and friendship.

     It goes with out saying that our eldest daughter would be so excited to be one of the lucky folks to live in Harmony. She could live alone or with a room-mate, safe in the knowledge that support would be there for her, should she need it, anytime, and at a monthly rental cost that she could afford. It truly would be a dream come true! However the demand is high, the list is long and there is no telling what tomorrow may bring. In the meantime, she will walk with her friends and advocate for this place called Harmony because she has to. That's what friends do....

If you want to help, please donate here:

 https://giving.uniti4all.com/-/NJTBXBSQ

Harmony 2

       Ever since our daughter was old enough to put it into words and action, she has been doing one thing: saving her money. First she was saving for a purple Mini Cooper and then when epilepsy made driving impossible, she kept working hard and is now saving for a home, saving for her future. Our daughter has an intellectual disability which means that she would need to live in a very special place; a place that was affordable, accessible and supportive. A place like Harmony. 
     Unless you have a relative with a disability you probably do not realize how lucky we are to live in Surrey. Here we are fortunate enough to have UNITI. According to the website: "UNITI is the partnership of the three affiliated societies that have provided important community services for decades. Semiahmoo House Society provides quality services and supports to people with disabilities and their families in Surrey and White Rock. Peninsula Estates Housing Society provides affordable and inclusive housing that reflects the diversity of our community. The Semiahmoo Foundation ensures that UNITI has the recognition, relationships and resources to support an inclusive community." This combination of these three vital organizations in our community makes us unique. 

     Since she is now an adult, our daughter realizes that she will not always live with us, her parents. We are already older than most of her peers' parents so time is important. Every day is an opportunity for our daughter to add to her skill set and knowledge base in order to become more independent. Disabled folks like her have the right to live independently in a community that lifts them up and supports them. And as their literature explains, Harmony is a 91 rental home, 6-storey inclusive building which will be affordable and inclusive housing for the life of the building. It will house families, seniors, people with disabilities and others. 

     Please support Harmony's latest fundraiser and UNITI. Our daughter is counting on it!

Sex

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