Sex

     There are three topics you don’t discuss with others apparently and they are: sex, religion and politics. Sex is always a tricky one and no less so when you are the parents of a neurodiverse adult. Watching “Love on the Spectrum” recently I noticed that it was a topic that came up frequently. If you have not seen it, I recommend it for the glimpse it gives into the yearnings and mindsets of many atypical young folks and their families. I believe the point of the show is that neurodiverse adults want to have rich, fully realized, authentic life experiences and this includes love and its physical expression. Our kids are inundated from many different sources with graphic portrayals of all kinds but especially of sex. That and the brief and scientific sex education they received in elementary school does not really convey all there is to know. The nuances of intimate relationships are as individual as the people involved; love is love and it’s different for everyone. 

     In reading my dad’s love letters to my mum when they were first together, I realized that no matter who you are, some things are unknowable; that quick, sure, confusing, slow immersion from friendship to attraction to love is a unique path for each of us. It cannot be explained—- it just is. And like any parent, you watch, you listen, you hope, you pray and you love. Whether your child is neurotypical or not, this is a road that you cannot walk with them. You must stand at the side and hope that they remember all that you said and did and if not that then, that they are loved.

Pride

      Hayley and I had the pleasure of representing The Church of the Holy Trinity at the White Rock Family Pride Day last Saturday. We were glad to see our new tent set up, brightly decorated with the colourful sun catchers our Children’s Chapel had recently made. We had Holy Trinity bags, lanyards, cards and bookmarks to hand out as well as sun catchers and the children’s hand-painted rocks that were so popular at our Christmas Market. So many people were thrilled with our offerings. It was a very happy, upbeat day festooned with balloons, bubbles, music and singing. We encouraged everyone who passed by our table to take “a bag for your swag” as fellow volunteer Cindy so smartly put it and most folks did. Many people stopped and chatted and some thanked us for being there, specifically as a church organization, one of the only two there. 
     Hayley and Stella made the rounds of the other tables and were impressed with the generosity and community spirit on display. I was so delighted by the outpouring of volunteer support from our own parishioners who represented our church and epitomized the love of Jesus Christ by showing love for all our neighbours regardless of “race, age, culture, ethnicity, nationality, gender identity and expression, sexual orientation, marital status, previous religious affiliation, or socioeconomic status”. Everyone was truly welcome and I was so proud to be part of this experience. It was a day for children and families and one my family was happy to share.

Jamboree

     I now know that the only thing better than attending a Challenger Baseball Jamboree is helping to host one. Challenger baseball players have varying degrees of ability and disability but they all share an intense love of the game. Many of the Challenger teams from all over B.C. attended this fun-filled day of sports, smiles and snacks in our own South Surrey. It started out cool, even a little wet but as it progressed it became warmer and brighter and even more enjoyable. We had so many volunteers, mostly parents of players who did their very best to make it a memorable day for us all. From the initial event and diamond set-up to the greeters at the information booth, the first aid volunteers, the awards table and the super organized food tent, it all ran like a well oiled machine. And of course our leadership was incredible with Coaches Kim and Steve doing their utmost to arrange, organize and encourage all the volunteers, players, coaches and their families. This had been an endeavour several months in the making and the preparation that was done showed in how successfully it all unfolded. 

     We also had huge support from the Jays Care Foundation, Rogers, 7-Eleven and Domino's Pizza who kept us all supported, funded, hydrated and fed throughout the course of the day. Everyone from these various organizations was unfailingly friendly, polite and helpful. And we had Korki the Clown present as well as an amazing wandering trio of musicians and a caricature artist. It was an incredible day! And it showed in the smiles on the faces of all the athletes, who for a whole day, could play with their teammates, witness the pride on their parents’, family's and caregiver's faces, make some new friends and revel in the safety of a wonderful community who was there for one reason and one reason only: to play ball!

Remembering

     As many people who have experienced loss through death will tell you, it is a profound comfort to have an opportunity to remember your loved one. Whether it is in telling their story or visiting their gravesite, there is joy in the remembering. Another way to memorialize them is to give flowers for the church altar or to pay tribute through the aumbry candle. It has given me an enormous amount of comfort to be able to remember our niece and nephew at various times throughout the year by giving flowers or lighting the aumbry candle to the Glory of God in memory of them. Whether it is their birthday or another important date, it feels wonderful to give my appreciation for my loved one a tangible, beautiful form of expression. There is a large calendar where you may choose the appropriate date for either donating flowers or the lighting of the aumbry candle. This is acknowledged in our weekly church bulletin which we receive at both services on Sundays. Our amazing Altar Guild purchases new seasonal flowers every week and arranges them for the church altar. Please take advantage of this lovely way to remember which also beautifies our church. Thank you!

Spirit

     Have you ever had an experience of the Holy Spirit? His Grace Archbishop John's sermon on Pentecost Sunday gave me much to think about. He suggested that many of us have had such an experience but did not know what to call it. He stated that it might be "in the presence of the birth of a child or the death of a loved one. We will recognize the presence of the Spirit this morning, in baptism, in confirmation, in the Eucharist. The Spirit may be known when someone tells us they love us or when we're all alone on a mountain top. The Spirit may be felt when we pray with the whole of our heart and mind, in a church or in a field or by still waters. The Spirit may be known in a thunderstorm or the quietness after it has snowed." And he also mentioned that as it has happened in the past, when we talk about this experience someone might call us strange or even ridiculous so we might not want to talk about it, but we should I think. 

     My experience was a near death situation and I had not recounted it as the presence of the Holy Spirit because I did not realize it as such until yesterday. In staring into Jesus’ eyes and invoking His name over and over, even in my diminished state I knew then that I now had a relationship that I had never known before. I have had other comparable experiences in much more mundane settings but they all bear a strong resemblance to the moments His Grace spoke of on Sunday. You may have your own experiences of the Holy Spirit. And maybe you will share them. Because as His Grace told us it is in these moments that we draw closer to God; he said, “ … the Spirit invites us into a fuller, richer experience with God.” He further stated that “The Spirit nudges us away from complacency and urges us to see moments where God can be known.” A lot to think about? Yes! Come Holy Spirit!

Vigil

     Last night I had the privilege of attending an interfaith prayer vigil in remembrance of the victims of the Lapu Lapu Day tragedy: A Community in Mourning. It was held at 5 pm at Miramar Plaza in White Rock and was a moving tribute to the lives lost. Sponsored and organized by the local interfaith community, it included prayers, songs and remembrances delivered by those within the Filipino community as well as those affected, their friends and neighbours. As speaker Jeff Solis indicated, this vigil was holding space so our grief could be shared with others who care.

     The Himig Kabataan Cultural Society Choir gave us several musical offerings both in English and Tagalog that expressed a deep sense of longing to be connected with one another as well as our need to be comforted by our Lord. People from public office, faith leaders like our own Father Joe and community coordinators used words of hope and healing in acknowledgment of the pain and heartbreak caused by the festival catastrophe. In a very moving musical offering composed by The Rev. Eduardo Hontiveros entitled “Pananagutan” which translated means “responsibility” and also sung by the Himig Kabataan Cultural Society Choir, the song encouraged us to look out for one another: “We are all responsible for each other, We are all gathered by God, who is with Him”. I was uplifted as I saw so many of my fellow parishioners in attendance. Some of my friends from outside of the church also attended and were very touched by the service.

     At the end of the vigil we were encouraged to bring forth our flowers and candles which formed a beautiful visual statement of Jesus’ second great commandment: Love thy neighbour as thy self. The final prayer comforted us and readied us to go out in the world once again:

God of Astonishing Mercy, Compassion and Immeasurable Love, restore our broken hearts and enliven our confidence to find new ways to revive our world to become one of peace. Amen

Floor

     About forty years ago the Church of the Holy Trinity had a new linoleum floor installed. According to my father, it was a huge project with the parishioners literally doing all of the heavy lifting. All 30 or more pews were unscrewed from the floor, lifted onto dollies and dragged around the corner to the church library to be stacked and stored until the floor was redone. The job took a couple of weeks and so the Sunday church services were scheduled to take place in the church hall. At the first one the rector at that time, Father John Prince, declared it to be “the best service that we’ve ever had”! The cost of the floor was more than the church had then but he preached a sermon that resonated with the congregation and the money appeared. The linoleum floor lasted for years eventually needing to be taped in certain high traffic areas; it was cracked, dull, old and worn. But over the years that floor had known the tread of many feet: weddings, funerals, baptisms, confirmations, Sunday services, Christmas pageants and Easter celebrations too. Flower petals, ashes, candle wax and tears had dotted the floor along with the innumerable rain drops, snowflakes and debris that floors can gather.

     The floor needed replacement after all those years and this last month it was redone. This also was a huge venture for our parish but fortunately we had help with the heavy lifting. A local contractor and his team assisted us. It still took an enormous effort on the part of parishioners to make this floor a reality. And we also had to have wonderful services in the church hall; close, cozy but wonderful nonetheless. So now we have a a new epoxy floor: bright, clean, colourful and hard-wearing. (And as our daughter found out at the Easter Vigil, it’s fire resistant!) There will be years and years of Sundays and other days: celebrations, funerals, petals and ashes; God is with us always, regardless of where we are.