Sex

     There are three topics you don’t discuss with others apparently and they are: sex, religion and politics. Sex is always a tricky one and no less so when you are the parents of a neurodiverse adult. Watching “Love on the Spectrum” recently I noticed that it was a topic that came up frequently. If you have not seen it, I recommend it for the glimpse it gives into the yearnings and mindsets of many atypical young folks and their families. I believe the point of the show is that neurodiverse adults want to have rich, fully realized, authentic life experiences and this includes love and its physical expression. Our kids are inundated from many different sources with graphic portrayals of all kinds but especially of sex. That and the brief and scientific sex education they received in elementary school does not really convey all there is to know. The nuances of intimate relationships are as individual as the people involved; love is love and it’s different for everyone. 

     In reading my dad’s love letters to my mum when they were first together, I realized that no matter who you are, some things are unknowable; that quick, sure, confusing, slow immersion from friendship to attraction to love is a unique path for each of us. It cannot be explained—- it just is. And like any parent, you watch, you listen, you hope, you pray and you love. Whether your child is neurotypical or not, this is a road that you cannot walk with them. You must stand at the side and hope that they remember all that you said and did and if not that then, that they are loved.