First Day

     We stood there trying to find our way through the crowd; bodies pushed and moved, I felt trapped and had to keep going. The noise level was incredible, I couldn't speak without yelling and when a gap was found we stopped. We breathed. I kept consciously breathing but meanwhile my stomach was rising in my body and I thought that I was going to be sick. I tried to control my thoughts, my words, my face; I didn't want her to know what I was feeling. I had to be here with her--- she could not be alone for fear of another seizure. What I was experiencing was irrelevant; I was here for her. I didn't want to colour her view of the day--- the first day of high school.

(This is my last post. My daughter has asked me not to write about her now that she is in high school. I'm not sure how I am going to manage that, but here goes....)