Wanted

     Today while we were at Children's Hospital, both the doctor and the nurse asked my daughter about friends, now that she is in high school. Her responses were vague, quiet and not positive.  I already knew the answers but my heart felt silent for a moment while I listened and then it resumed: quieter, slower and with an ache. The sensation in my chest has been there ever since my children were born--- every step they take away from me brings loss, but this is accompanied with pride in their developing independence. There are moments though, as a mother, that are quite sad and this is one of them for me.
     Later I ran into one of my daughter's previous SEA's at the school she now works at and we talked briefly about friendship. As she pointed out, it would only take one--- one friend, one person with whom there is a special connection, to paint this picture differently. But that person has not been met yet, or has not yet been identified and so the answer remains the same. No, not really, not yet, not so much....
     You cannot make friends for your children but you can show them, by example, what it is to be a friend. I am no expert. Girlfriend friendships have always been difficult for me. Honestly, I usually preferred  friendships with boys because they seemed easier to navigate, with fewer landmines to steer around. I do know though that in order to have a friend, you must be a friend.  Easier said than done, easier done when things are good--- not so, when times are tough. Harder still when social skills are developing.
     If I could put in a request for her it would say: Wanted: Friend, must be kind. No experience necessary. All applicants welcomed. Can start immediately.