Love

     I have a friend whose husband was recently killed while walking their dog at night. She is someone I used to work with.  My friend is now facing life without her husband. Their son who is grown is now without a dad. They must pursue a life changed forever.  I learned about the accident through social media and have witnessed the tremendous outpouring of support for their family. They are loved.

     The workplace setting that we met in was hospice; our work was helping children, youth and adults with loss. It makes sense to me that my friend and I met while working for hospice. She is a lovely, nurturing woman, gentle in all her dealings with others but not afraid to ask the hard questions. With a nursing background and her own personal skill set she seemed especially in tune with grieving children. For me hospice was an amazing job, one that I could never imagine leaving except for the even more amazing job of motherhood. Part of the reason that it was such marvelous work was the perspective gained by such close contact with death. You learned day after day, person after person, loss after loss to stay caught up with your "I love yous". Every day you saw that in the blink of an eye, life as you knew it could be over and that if you were lucky or blessed or healthy enough, there might be another chapter for you, maybe. It was not always easy but it was intense, real and terribly satisfying.
     My friend wrote about the amazing support she and her son have received since the accident and the tremendous honour that was bestowed on her late husband by the huge congregation of firefighters at his memorial service. She also wrote an incredibly wise piece of advice:

"Hold your loved ones. Say what you need to say. In a strange yet perfect way  we had all of the 'right' conversations over the past few years. No regrets. Always more to say, yet the most important things were said." 
     My friend, her son and the rest of their family and their firefighter family must pursue a life forever changed. It will not be easy I'm sure but they will do it. No regrets.