1. Back pain: Who knew? The simplest chore can now render you useless for the rest of the week!
2. Insomnia: Some nights you sleep, some nights you don't. You're always kept guessing. Who said life would be dull?
3. Whiskers: This is something that I heard about. Hair grows out of places that it shouldn't. As if getting old isn't bad enough!
4. Skin: Spots that are not acne appear on your skin for no reason. I have no idea why.
5. Gravity: I am not kidding. Everything but I mean everything falls or falls off. Don't ask.
6. Appetite: Old people don't need to eat much because they don't do much. And if you do eat a lot, get ready for #2. On this list I mean.
7. Gas: Another one of those things that I heard about. Really!
8. Hearing: I will never experience silence again. There is a sound in my head that no one can do anything about---tinnitus. Look it up.
9. Teeth: They get long, they break off, they let you down. I mean it.
10. Vision: The top of your glasses and the bottom of your glasses do different things.That's all there is to it.
11. Energy: It is so much easier not to do things than to do them and even if you wanted to, you don't have it in you...enough said.
12. Lists: You can no longer remember anything much less the name of the director of "Stand By Me". (I know it's Rob Reiner. I googled it.) You must make lists for everything. Everything!
2. Insomnia: Some nights you sleep, some nights you don't. You're always kept guessing. Who said life would be dull?
3. Whiskers: This is something that I heard about. Hair grows out of places that it shouldn't. As if getting old isn't bad enough!
4. Skin: Spots that are not acne appear on your skin for no reason. I have no idea why.
5. Gravity: I am not kidding. Everything but I mean everything falls or falls off. Don't ask.
6. Appetite: Old people don't need to eat much because they don't do much. And if you do eat a lot, get ready for #2. On this list I mean.
7. Gas: Another one of those things that I heard about. Really!
8. Hearing: I will never experience silence again. There is a sound in my head that no one can do anything about---tinnitus. Look it up.
9. Teeth: They get long, they break off, they let you down. I mean it.
10. Vision: The top of your glasses and the bottom of your glasses do different things.That's all there is to it.
11. Energy: It is so much easier not to do things than to do them and even if you wanted to, you don't have it in you...enough said.
12. Lists: You can no longer remember anything much less the name of the director of "Stand By Me". (I know it's Rob Reiner. I googled it.) You must make lists for everything. Everything!
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