Two

    

     Now that our daughter is officially over two years seizure free, we settle into a more relaxed routine, epilepsy wise anyway. I know that there are no guarantees in life; the death of our beloved nephew last fall has bitterly reminded us all of that. I suppose that she could have a seizure tomorrow. The brain is unknowable in so many ways. Marcelo Gleiser recently wrote, "The fact that the workings of the brain remain mysterious is not due to some immaterial entity but to our own difficulty of understanding its complexity." 

     An interesting development in our daughter's diagnosis is that through genetic testing she was found to have a genetic mutation in her GABA (gamma-amino butyric acid) signalling, which is the principal inhibitory mechanism in the central nervous system. This mutation is more commonly found in childhood epilepsy which gives us reason to hope that our daughter has grown out of her epileptic seizures. Her father and I are undergoing the same testing to see if we have any similar differences.

     We are typical I guess in our need to have answers to the question "why". Nothing is changed by having this knowledge but I do believe that information is power and can help us claim some degree of control in a seemingly uncontrollable situation. Surprisingly, some of the advances made in science make us more aware of what we don't know. Maybe that's what keeps it all so exciting!?

     Anyway our daughter's smile says it all: two years without injury, fear, trips to the hospital by ambulance; two years without headaches, bruises, embarrassment. Instead: two years of hope, independence, confidence, growth and of course, grief; two years of living.