Dancing

     Over the years, our younger daughter has done Highland dancing with a wonderful teacher---- a woman of infinite patience and Scottish good cheer. At one point, both my daughters and I danced with her. It was a great deal of fun. Highland dance can be quite difficult but it looks amazing when done right. Picture elevating yourself by jumping on your toes over two crossed swords laying on the ground without rattling them. Scottish country dance is not as hard to learn, but again enormous fun.  Again, picture yourself in a set with five, seven or even more dancers, crossing back and forth, swinging, linking arms and more. The woman who teaches the class does so with such enthusiasm and ease that all the girls (and sometimes boys) can't help but be hooked.
     The unofficial motto of the dance facility is "....where people with two left feet are welcome...." Thank goodness! It's refreshing to be in a class where you can learn at your own pace and your aptitude for a skill does not matter; what matters is your desire to learn. And I prefer Scottish dance to other dance because the clothing worn for it at competitions or ceilidhs is child-appropriate: kilts and skirts in every colour imaginable, white blouses with lace, velvet vests and matching knee socks. I dislike going to a dance recital and seeing young girls dressed in scant clothing with lots of make-up on.
     I have always been a fan of everything Scottish, whether it is bagpipe music, tartan clothes or the accents. (I am not Scottish, but sometimes I wish I was.) But I am a huge fan of this dance company because it encourages little girls and boys to love to dance. Whether they are good at it or not, they are appreciated. With this teacher's encouragement, they also learn to love themselves dancing and what could be better than that? And as Mike Myers said in the SNL "All Things Scottish" skit--- "If it's not Scottish, it's crrrap!"

Father's Day

For Dad

Time can be so very unkind,
Erasing memories from our mind
But there are some I remember well
It’s of these I wish to tell:

Baseball and opera, all in one day
You drove; we talked and rode a long way.
You took me to the place I was born
Along village paths ancient and worn.

Burgers for all of us in the back of the car,
Trips to Florida, Montreal, places near and far,
A favourite film seen again and again
Words to the songs imprinted and then,

From you, I got a lifelong love of sweets,
Music, reading, sports and more treats,
A short temper but quick to forgive,
So many lessons I needed to live.

I will remember, I will never forget
The kind of father you are still yet
Loving, kind, honourable and giving
Who shows me how to make life worth living:

Hold your friends and family close,
Be there when they need you most,
Face your troubles when they come,
Don’t be afraid and never run.

Love God and country and take care
Listen, learn and always be fair.
These things I took from life with you
For them and more I thank you too.

How can I say what it means to be sure
That you are on my side forever more?
I love you Dad, that’s how it’s said
And I’m grateful for the life you’ve led.

Singing

     My daughter loves to listen to music. There is a popular song out right now by The Mounties that spells it out: "I got my headphones on from the minute I'm up 'til the minute I go to bed, I got my headphones on everyday of my life, gonna wear them until I'm dead..."  She also likes to sing. Not in an always-singing-everywhere-and-anywhere kind of way but in a way that soothes her and makes her life better. Most of the singing happens at choir although Justin Bieber and Jonny Lang sometimes get a pretty good run for their money here at home. I have been in our church choir and know firsthand how amazing it is to sing with a group. When you feel part of something bigger than you, you connect with your inner self in such a clear way.
      My daughter is a member of a children's choir that is a gorgeous group of young, mainly female voices, brilliantly led by a beautiful, dynamic woman with a South African accent and the voice of an angel. With her guidance, this group of young people entertain, inspire and delight. Most everyone is unfailingly kind to my daughter, despite her differences and she enjoys time spent with them. A seizure at practise did not faze this choir's leader, who dealt with it in such a kind and loving way. I believe that she viewed it as a teachable moment and had the other students help her to look after my daughter. Her compassion was amazing and I think the kids learnt a lot about how to handle a seizure in the future. She told them that they can never know what their friends have to deal with in their own lives and to count their blessings. She also said that she was was proud of them and that she loved them all. What an incredible teacher!
     I am inspired by people like this woman and I know she makes my daughter a better singer and a more well-rounded person. Last night when I saw many of the choir members singing at the finish line at the Relay for Life in support of cancer research, I felt proud. I liked seeing a community of young singers supporting a community of mostly older runners and walkers as they made their way around the oval. Singing is a way of connecting souls; a way to reach out to each other and our world; a way to give our love for others, wings. 

Mother's Day

     On Mother's Day our younger daughter handed me a handmade card that read: "To the best mama ever! You treat us like every day is Children's Day." What a nice compliment.... When I received my handmade Mother's Day card from our eldest daughter I read it out loud: "To the best mum ever." I hugged my daughter and then she said "You're my only mum and I want it to stay that way." From your lips to God's ears....

Wanted

     Today while we were at Children's Hospital, both the doctor and the nurse asked my daughter about friends, now that she is in high school. Her responses were vague, quiet and not positive.  I already knew the answers but my heart felt silent for a moment while I listened and then it resumed: quieter, slower and with an ache. The sensation in my chest has been there ever since my children were born--- every step they take away from me brings loss, but this is accompanied with pride in their developing independence. There are moments though, as a mother, that are quite sad and this is one of them for me.
     Later I ran into one of my daughter's previous SEA's at the school she now works at and we talked briefly about friendship. As she pointed out, it would only take one--- one friend, one person with whom there is a special connection, to paint this picture differently. But that person has not been met yet, or has not yet been identified and so the answer remains the same. No, not really, not yet, not so much....
     You cannot make friends for your children but you can show them, by example, what it is to be a friend. I am no expert. Girlfriend friendships have always been difficult for me. Honestly, I usually preferred  friendships with boys because they seemed easier to navigate, with fewer landmines to steer around. I do know though that in order to have a friend, you must be a friend.  Easier said than done, easier done when things are good--- not so, when times are tough. Harder still when social skills are developing.
     If I could put in a request for her it would say: Wanted: Friend, must be kind. No experience necessary. All applicants welcomed. Can start immediately. 

Relationships

     Relationships are enormously difficult aren't they? Whether they are with your partner, your neighbour, your family or your dog sometimes they are just ridiculously hard. Why are they like that? Shouldn't like-minded individuals be content to be together? Because...and yes and no. The point is that there is no simple way to get along when people are involved. Whether it is our genetic make-up, our baggage or our mood that particular day, there are just so many variables that it is not easy for everything to be smooth every minute. And unfortunately for us all, it is so comfortable to judge, to be hard on each other because sometimes being that way means that we are just being ourselves. Or so we say.
     I love the old gem, "Treat your family like friends and your friends like family." It seems to me that I find it quite effortless to say things to my immediate family that I would never say to friends. They would think me rude! On the other hand, I do find it easier to extend the comforts of family to close friends. For me, it is much harder to treat my relatives as if they were my friends. There is something to be said for being your real authentic self with the folks you live with but what becomes of our manners, our kindness, our compassion for those closest to us....
      How do we find a way to treat the folks we highly value and live with, with the same affection and respect that we give the people we value and don't live with every day of our life? "Familiarity breeds contempt." wrote Aesop. Does it or is it just that our family members see us at our lowest--- when we are tired, hungry, bored, frustrated, lonely and sometimes despairing.
     What is a friend? In the age of Facebook, it seems that friends are something that many of us have hundreds of. Real friendship is the family that we choose, rather than the one we are born into. I am blessed to have a wonderful family and stellar friends. What more could anyone ask for?
    

Towed

     It's nice to know that after 40 years of driving that I can still learn a thing or two. Apparently if you park too close to the corner in Vancouver you get a $50.00 ticket. ($50.00 if you pay it right away, $150.00 if you don't. ) Also if you get a ticket, you must also be towed to Buster's Towing Yard and pay $84.15 plus tax to have your car returned to you.
     It was alleged that I did "stop within 6 metres of the nearest edge of the closest sidewalk on an intersecting street." Still you don't want to let a little thing like having your car towed mar your evening. But it did. It wasn't so much the large amount of money or the colossal waste of time or the damper it put on the evening as much as the horrible, sick feeling I got when I looked down from my friend's balcony and saw that my car was not where I had parked it. My mouth got dry and my heart started beating loudly. Where was my car?
     The funny thing was was that we had walked to a nearby restaurant, put up with yelling at each other because it was so noisy, walked around the neighbourhood some more and sat outside on the deck on the other side of the building. We were so close to where I had parked my car the entire evening but had no inkling that it had disappeared until right before I left. Luckily, my friend was wise to the antics of parking by-law enforcers and knew right where the lot was and it too, was very close. No big deal, right?
     When you are celebrating your 20 year Friend-iversary, with a very valued and important friend, you cannot let a little thing like a car towing ruin your good time. Just look at it as an impromptu lesson that enhances your 40 year driving skills. Or lack thereof.