Marathon

 

     Today our eldest daughter participated in a half marathon in a neighboring town. It was a cold and icy morning though the roads were bare in our area and the sunrise was lovely if a little tentative. It is hard to get up most mornings but especially difficult on a dark winter Sunday morning when everyone else gets to sleep in. She had laid out all her clothes the night before and wasn't really looking forward to the run but was committed. I drove her to the meeting place and left her in the capable hands of her BUILD leaders and teachers.
     Getting back home, I was mad at myself for not being more organized to register in time and accompany our daughter on the walk. I could certainly use the exercise! We do so much together though that I worry about her independence. Years of seizure activity and the accompanying anxiety have relentlessly kept me at her side. She is now a year seizure free and we both need to learn to step away from each other sometimes. It is difficult for both of us.
     It being icy, our daughter fell and had trouble getting up again. Of course there were many friendly female hands to help her up again and encourage her to keep going. She linked arms with one of her leaders and finished the marathon, proud of her medal if a little sore. I was so glad to know that she was able to do this run, not without help, but independently, without me. These are baby steps for both of us, away from each other. In her case it was about twelve thousand steps but I was thrilled to hear about every one of them.

One

     She is one year seizure free! Our daughter started having seizures at eighteen months of age. Other than a two year break between the ages of five and seven and again between the ages of eleven and thirteen, epilepsy has been a large part of her life. Our daughter experienced two-thirds of her seizures during her five years at high school. She had her last seizure (and her last trip to the emergency ward) on February 2, 2017. Thankfully she only broke her hand and nose, split her lip and lost a front tooth.
     What does it mean to our daughter to be one year seizure free? First and foremost, she has less fear that she will have a injury-causing seizure in an unsafe public place. It means her being able to be home alone from time to time. She loves that!  It also makes her feel that she can be like other people her age, not to mention not having to take her mother along to the movies or anywhere for that matter, nice as she is!?
     For us, it means the possibility that she can one day go without antiepileptic medications, the opportunity for her to work or go to school without always being accompanied and of course, hope for a seizure free adult life, a life concentrated on enjoying living rather than fearing injury or even death.
     Whether our daughter is seizure free due to less stress in her life, the medications finally working, outgrowing her seizures or the answer to prayer, here it is. This reprieve from epilepsy for a year has been my most cherished wish, my most fervent prayer and I am sure that that is true for my husband and both our daughters and other family as well. If you too helped Hayley get here, then we thank you. We thank God and we thank you....

everythingIneedtoknowIlearnedina chickencoop;)

     I have learnt a few things from the chickens in our coop over the years; a chicken run and its citizens are a messy, muddy microcosm. Here is what I have discovered, in no particular order: Who's the boss? Well, size is not what counts, it's attitude. Our largest and oldest rooster is currently winding down his days in the chicken hospital/nursery/hospice. Always a gentle soul, he could quash any hen argument with a glance. That being said: Love your neighbour. Living close to anybody is hard. Regardless of whether they look like you or don't, your neighbours need to be tolerated, respected even appreciated. Our differences are what keep us interesting. Which leads us to: Stay busy. Whether you are pecking scratch, chopping firewood, laying eggs or writing your thesis, it's important to keep at it. Moving keeps you up; being idle makes you low. Get to it! Also though: Rest when you can. It's important to get down time, relaxation and sleep. Standing in the sunlight can be quite rejuvenating, sitting in a dusty hole is good for what ails you, especially between meal times. And so: There is enough for everyone. Sharing can be difficult, especially where food is concerned. Still it's better to take a little and go back for more than taking too much. There's always more feed/food, so chill. Which brings us to: Mama/Papa knows best. She has been where you are right now and even if she hasn't, she knows someone who has. If not, he'll tell you so listen, you might learn something. And lastly, do your best. Again, it's not the size of the egg that counts, it's the quality. As my husband would say, you only get out of something what you put into it....

Pastor 2

 

     Sometimes it is difficult to put into words the effect one person has on another's life. If their influence is positive yet subtle, the way a breeze can cool a stiflingly hot day or an unexpected compliment can save an otherwise awkward exchange, the effect is sometimes overlooked. If you are young and struggling socially, a great Youth Group at a warm and caring church can be an amazing blessing. Add an awesome Youth Pastor and you have a recipe for success.

     Our eldest has been blessed to have such a person in her life. Encouraged to be a regular member of the Youth Program and further encouraged to be a volunteer in the church's Sunday School helping with the younger kids, our daughter gained confidence, insight and valuable perspective. The boost to her self-esteem and sense of self cannot be overstated. The fact that he and his young family are moving and that he is returning to seminary is a great loss to her and all the youth and children of the church. Speaking personally, the adults will miss him too.

     Patience, positivity, honesty and a wonderful sense of humour are just part of the reason that he will be missed. It may be difficult for a while for our daughter to move forward without this caring and cool person at her church. But that is life; loss and change rule. All we can do is pray for him, his wife and young children and hope their path leads them our way again. Thank you Pastor Orin!

Satisfaction

     A famous guy even older than me is still singing the old rock' n 'roll song of the same name and there is something to be said for it....satisfaction, I mean. For me it happens in the late afternoon when the sun is shining but thinking about setting, my girls are home and safe, dinner is figured out because it's a huge pot of soup that I made yesterday, the eggs are gathered, the house is warm and soon it will be time to sit together and relax. I am sure those old guys were writing about something else but there you go.
     There is a lot to be said for wanting what you have rather than having what you want, a sentiment that our society does not give a great deal of airtime to; shopping makes the world go 'round apparently, especially at this time of year. The traffic is beyond frustrating, there are line-ups everywhere for everything and a sense of panic that seems to dominate the world out there. There is therefore a lot to be said for staying home, staying close and spending time instead of money. I don't mind how many times I lose when I play "Sorry" with my daughters, I am just happy to play. (Actually I have never won--- how does that make sense!?)
     Our eldest is enjoying her life skills program and is now over ten months seizure free and we are still not able to explain this change. Explanation is impossible however and so unnecessary; life is good. Our youngest dislikes high school but works hard to get straight A's. Life is good. I am aware of how quickly this all could change. I am also satisfied that we are doing all we can to keep them both healthy: good food, regular exercise, lots of sleep, prayer and fun and of course for the oldest, her anti-epileptic meds. If we make it to February, there will be a party. In the meantime it's all good.

Blessed

     Thanksgiving has come and gone but I am finding that the list of things that I am thankful for keeps going. Maybe that is why I am more cheerful at a time of year that usually has me feeling a little blue. As our older daughter continues to be seizure free, nine months now and counting, perhaps those are the silver threads that weave through our days: the hope that health and safety for our girls continues and our ongoing desire for that to be true for all.
     We are lucky enough to live in an exceptional community. We have the beauty of the ocean ten minutes away while being fortunate enough to live in a rural setting with an old growth forest in our own backyard. Our weather is the best Canadian weather possible: not too hot, not too cold and all four seasons. Our city has it all: culture, like the incredible theatre produced by Peninsula Productions, business, services, infrastructure. Our daughter with special needs has the amazing Semiahmoo House Society nearby which provides a wide range of recreation, leisure and community living and work programs for anyone with extraordinary needs. We have everything we need in local churches like White Rock Community Church which warmly welcomes folks every week plus schools, shops, libraries, parks, pools and entertainment. We have it all! We are blessed, lucky, fortunate--- pick one.
     Life can change in the blink of an eye, the flash of a camera, the change of a traffic light; I know this all too well. Today we are blessed.

Judy

     Our daughter lost a Special Olympics teammate to cardiac arrest on Thanksgiving weekend. She was a lovely young woman with caring family, 35 years old, non-verbal and an athlete who worked hard in many disciplines of Special Olympics: basketball, swimming and bowling to name a few. Our daughter had only known her for a short time but was impressed with her teammate's cheerfulness, hard work and respect for others. That she died in circumstances that could have been prevented makes her story that much sadder.
     Tonight the Special Olympics coaches made sure that as many parents and caregivers as possible were available in order to offer support to the athletes. Sympathy cards were passed around for signing and support now and in the future was offered. A two minute silence was observed and then the practice went forward. The athletes played their best: exuberantly, energetically, diligently, because that's what their teammate would have wanted. They felt her loss with varying degrees of understanding but the feeling of playing for her was there and palpable in the gym.

     Special Olympics is remarkable because it meets the athlete where they are and engages them with meaningful training, competition and lasting friendship. As the website states: "Special Olympics is humanity’s greatest classroom, where lessons of ability, acceptance and inclusion are illuminated on fields of play by our greatest teachers – the athletes." This has been an enormous source of social support to our daughter and a great boost to her physical well-being and confidence. The death of her teammate is tragic, sorrowful and felt by the many who knew her--- we did not know her well but we will not forget her.