Emily

     About four and a half years ago, a young woman reached out to our daughter on Facebook as they shared a relatively rare learning disorder, Nonverbal Learning Disorder (or NLD). She understood our daughter's social isolation and declared that she would be our daughter's friend, one way or another. Several years older and living on the east coast, she knew how hard it was for our daughter to make her way in the world. She sent out her friend Darby the NLD Duck to have some adventures on the west coast. It was such a sweet and understanding thing to do. It seemed as though she was telling us, " Well if I can't visit you, I'll send someone who can!"
     Darby was with us over the Christmas holidays and had many fun adventures with us. From Vancouver to White Rock he saw the sights and we took photos of him and our daughter everywhere. He seemed to enjoy our Canadian customs and was a charming, low-maintenance house guest. Fortunately he arrived back home to New Jersey in one piece.
     Our daughter and I just found out that Emily died a few days ago. We are so sad and can only imagine how bereft her family is now. She was a bright spark in the world; a loving, caring ray of sunshine in an often gray and cloudy world. We cannot help but grieve her loss; we had not met her but felt as though she had cared for us nonetheless. That's the kind of person she was. Our thoughts and prayers are with everyone who knew her....the world truly is a lesser place without Emily.

Virus

     As a sixty-two year old woman with seasonal allergies who still experiences hot flashes I have been worried. Chief among them is the concern that I have COVID-19. I am sure that I am not the only person to feel this way. Add that to being cloistered with my very favourite people in the whole world twenty-four-seven and the concern that we have enough toilet paper and hand sanitizer (for venturing out) as well as grieving for the way of life that we used to have and I have reason to feel stressed. We all do. Please understand that I am not taking this lightly; people are dying. I have little to worry about compared to most people. But with all of the above in mind I would like to share the COVID-19 assessment tool provided by our provincial government. From it I was able to establish that I do not have COVID-19 and therefore will not put my family at risk. Here it is:

This self-assessment tool, developed with the BC Ministry of Health, will help determine whether you may need further assessment or testing for COVID-19. You can complete this assessment for yourself, or on behalf of someone else.

If you have respiratory symptoms and a serious ongoing condition, or are in the third trimester of pregnancy, please follow the advice of your specialist.

Most people do not need to be tested for COVID-19 because it will not change your care.

People who do not need to be tested for COVID-19 include:

• People without symptoms
• People who have mild respiratory symptoms that can be managed at home
• Returning travellers

Who should be tested for COVID-19?

People with respiratory symptoms who may require testing for COVID-19 include people who are:

• Hospitalized, or likely to be hospitalized
• Health Care Workers
• Residents of long-term care facilities
• Part of an investigation of a cluster or outbreak

Anyone who has symptoms - including a fever, cough, sneezing, or sore throat - should self-isolate for 10 days. Continue to complete this assessment to determine if you may need care.

Last updated: 3/28/2020 10:50 am PDT

     There is so much information out there that we may become victim to invalid data. Please note the date on the bottom of the above and refer to the health officials in your area for the most up-to-date details. In the meantime stay home! And I pray that you stay well. 

Letter 2

     I am thinking about you, about all of you right now. Of course my immediate family is on my mind constantly but I am also wondering about you. Are you well? Do you need anything? Is there something I could do to help you right now? I have been very self-involved since the fall when we sold our property. Packing, purging and moving has occupied a large portion of my time. And I hate to tell you this but it is spring now and we are still not unpacked. There is so much of everything that we need to pass on, sell or donate in order to fit comfortably in this house. And with my husband's desire to renovate certain parts of this house immediately, we are still in chaos.
     But enough about me--- are you okay? Do you have folks in your life that can help you out? How are your children doing with all the myriad of changes that are occurring, usually on a daily basis? My girls are handling it in their own way. I think a kid with special needs can require more support with change and the resulting grief than typical kids, but maybe not. Trips are cancelled, plans are changed, jobs are lost, opportunities missed, losses experienced and there is the worry. Are we well, can we weather this storm, will we lose loved ones? So many questions....
     Anyway, I thought of you today and wondered how you are. I may not get a chance to tell you but you matter to so many people. You matter to me! And so I thought of you today....
     Take care,

Special

     A recent Special Olympics basketball tournament gave me yet another opportunity to look around at all the amazing ways that human beings play and work at play. There is a wide range of abilities in this sport played by folks with a "dis-ability". Short and tall, wide and thin, young and old, everyone was different from everyone else but all shared a very special interest, a profound love of this game called basketball. Of course some teams did better than others; there are always winners and losers and although the scores did matter and the baskets all counted, it truly was about being a team. Everyone worked so hard! I saw some very fast, very intense playing with close contact and even closer scores. I also saw players making sure that their slower teammates had a chance, even briefly, to handle the ball. There were some great moments of play, there were some generous acts of kindness but mostly there was love of the game.
     As always the Special O coaches were all very encouraging. There was a great deal of organization needed to pull off a multi level tournament; keeping everyone safe, hydrated and together. In a venue like a school there is not always a lot of room for large groups but the coaches used every corner to their team's advantage, some even warming up just inside the school's front door. I was also impressed with the referees and linesmen all of whom volunteered their time. These folks were exceptional in the way that they kept the players playing fair and instructed them on the rules behind their calls. They also showed that they too love this game of basketball.
     It was a good day; it started early and ended late but it was a day of great spirit and warm camaraderie. And my daughter and I felt privileged to be there.

Packing

     Our move is moving along and it is very hard but we are not doing it alone. Thank goodness for the family and friends who have helped us so remarkably! Apparently flying across the country to carry furniture for someone else is not too big of a deal for some folks!? We have wrecked some pretty strong backs this week, our own included. And some incredible people have added bringing packing supplies and supplying delicious food for hungry helpers to the list of stuff we can be grateful for. And we are.
     This is an immense change of lifestyle, circumstance and setting for us. To go from a five acre patch of messy beautiful heaven to a lovely little suburban lot is a big change. We also go from driving everyone everywhere to some independence for our daughters and more manageable maintenance for us all. There are losses and gains from every change and we know that both will be in great supply. It is challenging to go from an area that you have been comfortable in for about twenty five years and try something new; even if it's only a short drive away, it's new for us.
     We leave behind neighbours and friends, good times and sad days. Our home was a place of much enjoyment and so much growth. As our family enters a new chapter in our story, I feel many things but mostly I feel gratitude. We all do! Thank you to all of you--- our postal code will have changed but our phone numbers won't!

Wolf

     As a girl who grew up in the suburbs, moving to the country with my husband took a bit of getting used to. Coyotes howling, hunters shooting and rodents running around were not aspects of life that I was familiar with. I made our first years together miserable at times by worrying about every strange car in the driveway; I did not feel safe, especially when my husband was not around. Over the years then we had a number of larger dogs that we had good lives with--- dogs are a natural country door bell. They let you know that someone is around and they let the visitor know that they know!
     Our biggest and most ferocious looking dog was Wolf. As a Belgian Shepherd he was completely black except for several white hairs on his chest and lately, a grey chin. His bark was a low, loud rumble that let coyotes know that they were not welcome on our property. He was also the sweetest and most likable of dogs; to know him was to love him. Wolf was afraid of loud noises and hated lawn mowers, weed whippers and leaf blowers. He did love the sound of a police motorcycle though and once led me up our street to a "Cops for Cancer" event at a local preschool purely based on what his ears had heard.
     For many years my husband took him to work in his truck. It was wonderful to see Wolf's large black head sticking out of the window, taking in the sounds and scents. He loved to go for car rides with anyone though and would sometimes be brought home by some kind person who had just stopped their car on our street and found Wolf ready to jump in with them.
     Wolf's only fault was being a runaway. He had a habit of going places, usually on his own. However he once led our other dog across a very busy street to a spot blocks and blocks away. He also crossed the border a couple of times and made folks believe that he was a sniffer dog, albeit without a handler. He liked to be on the move.
     Towards the end though, Wolf stopped moving, drinking or eating. Today he came to the close of his many years on earth, about 14 of them we think. As he was in life, he was patient, loyal and loving. He will never be forgotten and will be sorely missed by all of us....

Thanks

     An English cousin whom I had never met before recently completed an across Canada trip in six weeks ending up on the West Coast. We had the pleasure of his company for a few days and I realized how much I regretted not spending more time in England. All my relatives with the exception of my immediate family live there and I see them almost never. It is the fate of most immigrants I suspect and one that makes me sad. However I do have the blessing of much family here: parents, siblings and their children and their children too now. And not to be taken for granted is the blessing of my husband's family, now my family too: many siblings with many children and their many children too....
     Of course there are no Thanksgiving dinners served in Britain and that is too bad. Turkey dinner is my very favourite meal accompanied of course by very un-British cranberry sauce (the more the better) and whatever else may be served as long as there is gravy (again, the more the better). And while this post seems to be about food, it really isn't.
     It is in fact about what I am grateful for and though the list seems short it is wide. I am thankful for family, health, the freedom to vote and worship and travel where we want...life is good here.  And while my English cousin has a great life in his home country I think we have it even better here. I am not talking about turkey dinner now but the beauty and abundance of our nation; the sheer size of it, the diversity of its people and its various landscapes defy description, at least by me. When my parents left England over 60 years ago, I am sure they did not know what lay ahead of them except perhaps something more. And that something more is exactly what I am so thankful for today.