Stress 2

     Stress seems to have been the number one cause of our daughter's breakthrough seizures. Whether it was travelling, holidays, special occasions or just the daily rigors of school, stress seemed to be the most obvious trigger. As she is now over two years seizure free and we are hoping to beat her record, which was three and a half years without an episode, we are all doubling down on the stressors in her life.

     Life is stressful, let's face it. From the moment that we wake up in the morning until we drop exhausted into our beds at night we are battered and bothered by the stresses of life: health, family, work, finances, relationships, transportation, you name it. And while anxiety and other mental health issues are on the rise whether because of the pandemic or the issues of the world in which we live, it is no easy task for any of us to keep our equilibrium. 

     Our daughter does her best to balance work with play, chores with relaxation, the serious with the fun. Church, sports, fun with friends, travel and Stella all go a long way towards keeping that balance. Whatever happens my husband and I try to make sure that she goes to bed with a clean slate. We do our best to keep our daughter free from worry and ready to face another day. And of course, Stella helps us as much as she can! Never underestimate the power of pets to help keep us relaxed and happy....

Congregation

 con·gre·ga·tion

Learn to pronounce

noun

1. 1.

   a group of people assembled for religious worship.

   "the singing of psalms by the whole congregation"

   Similar:

   parishioners

   parish

   churchgoers

   flock

   fold

   faithful

   following

     Our congregation is all of these and more; it is amazing! Our parishioners cheerfully show up every week and are a friendly welcoming parish, excited to meet new folks and happy to share in all that is available to us now. And thanks be to God, it is a lot! We have a smart, energetic new priest with a willing team of church elders who long to see our pews full again and our Children's Chapel ringing with young voices. We are blessed to have a talented, dedicated choir with a knowledgeable and gifted organist. Our deacon, soon to be a priest, is hardworking and vital in our community. We have important and meaningful connections in our town that allow us to minister to the hungry and the unhoused. We have so many possibilities!

     At our Annual Vestry Meeting we were encouraged to come up with BHAGs for our church. Our Big Hairy Audacious Goals were written down and we were charged to "dream and dream big" by our rector, Father Joe. As the first step in our strategic planning process, the goals that we each have for our church are important. Our mission, vision and values as a parish are also key components to our future plans. But the most vital piece as I see it is our flock, our fold, our faithful. I am just beginning to see how impressive this following is and I am looking forward to our future together. My thanks to everyone!

     For more information go to www.holytrinitywhiterock.ca

Thrift

      I have been a fan of thrift stores forever. As a person who tries to be careful with her money as well as someone who enjoys the exotic, the unusual or just a bargain, I am hooked on thrifting. Luckily I live in a community where we enjoy some wonderful thrift stores. In fact whether you begin at Five Corners and work your way up Johnston Road or start at Central Plaza and make your way down Johnston Road you will come across five great thrift stores that are worthy of note.

      Let's start at Central Plaza! This is the home of WorldServe Thrift, a favourite of mine for great prices and an awesome array of furniture. This store whose actual address is 1524 Foster Street has an amazingly upbeat manager. The store is large and has a good selection of everything. There is even the opportunity to bid on their most valuable wares. The staff are mainly volunteers and the net proceeds go to support their mission-driven outreach in a number of countries world wide. 

     Next is the  newest thrift store in the town of White Rock, The Wilder Thrift Store at 1391 Johnston Road. This shop has just opened up and it has huge potential. The manager is a young energetic woman who is friendly and always has time to greet everyone even though she is so busy. There is a marvelous selection of goods and although there is not a great deal of room for furniture, the clothing selection is terrific and there are always treasures to be found. Almost all donations are welcome and the store is open seven days a week at this point.

     Next is The Salvation Army at 1327 Johnston Street. You can't go wrong here. I have picked up some  lovely items here for a very nice price. This is a large store which can only accept donated items at the back door and the staff are busy but helpful if asked. There is always a large array of goods here but my favourite purchases from the Sally Anne, as we like to call it include some wonderful art and collectibles. Also they are open late!

     Then just around the corner at 15163 Prospect Avenue is Superfluity Thrift Store which is run by the Peace Arch Hospital Auxiliary Society. Though not large, there are treasures to be found here and a lovely staff of volunteers who are happy to help. They have a nice ladies clothing boutique upstairs--- the building looks deceptively small and there are vintage finds here. The staff are friendly and they seem to have a lot of volunteers on board.

     And last and certainly not least but definitely smallest is The Living Room Store at 1233 Johnston Road. Though tiny they have tidy and thoughtful displays and carry most everything that would fit in a very small thrift store. This store supports the work and mission of Life Church White Rock here and internationally. The staff are kind and helpful and I can always spot a little something here.

     I would be remiss if I didn't mention my favourite Surrey thrift store, Peace Arch Thrift Store which supports a cause dear to my heart: hospice and palliative care in South Surrey and White Rock. It is a lovely upscale thrift shop with great jewelry, books and clothing. It is located in Surrey at 15562 24th Avenue so it is not close enough to be part of our White Rock Thrift Tour but it definitely should not be missed. Our daughter volunteers here at times and the staff are fun, friendly and good listeners!

     Anyway I recommend this little tour of the White Rock  thrift stores. There is ample free parking and some great spots for coffee and cold drinks along the way. Your body will be better for the exercise and chances are your wallet though lighter, will still have money left in it.

 

Escalation

      Recently I had to deal with a particularly annoying circumstance in which a bank deposit we had made did not appear in our daughter's RDSP for over a month. We had made the mistake of trying to deposit a grant she had received from Endowment 150 through the branch, an error that we will not repeat, I can assure you. Several emails, half a dozen phone calls and the situation was resolved. But it was a month-long process; a month that seemed especially long because of our daughter's daily inquiry about it. One thing I noticed was everyone I wrote to or talked to kept mentioning "escalate" as in "you wish to escalate your concern" or "your matter has been escalated" or "this is an escalation". I found the use of this term very off putting. I looked up the customer service definition and here it is: "In customer service, escalation refers to a situation where a support agent must deal with a frustrated or angry customer who, in turn, wants to get in touch with a senior agent to resolve their issue." sprinklr.com

     To my mind suggesting that someone is frustrated and angry before they actually are frustrated or angry is a good way to ensure that they will indeed become frustrated and angry. I found their use of that term worsened the situation for me. I had been polite but clear about how disappointed we were; that this had lessened our daughter’s trust in them but that all we wanted was the cheque to appear in her account. If they hadn’t lost the document, it was simple really, just post the transaction and be done with it. It was not as easy as you would think!

     I do find that the words we use are so important. Jargon or words or expressions used by a particular profession can be very confusing and do not always lead to clear communication.  And while the words escalate or escalation may seem apt in the world of customer service, I for one don't find them helpful as a customer. Finally, all that matters is that the money is in the bank!

 

Church

     Our daughter received two gifts from the church that she attended while in high school and beyond; one years ago and the other, just last week. One was that it was the place where she found acceptance and friendship at a time when there was not a great deal of that in her life. High school was difficult because of seizures and constantly having an Educational Assistant by her side. The EA was necessary for her safety but her presence seemed to discourage relationships with others. The youth group at WRCC was friendly and inclusive and even when the youth pastors changed the group was one that she counted on. We then went to the church services on Sunday that were also warm and inviting: the music was modern and accessible, the words were projected above and easy to read, dress was casual and the leadership there was, and still is, smart, funny and full of wisdom and humility. Our daughter felt at home there.

     The other is a cheque that she received just days ago as part of the giving of their church congregation to something called a "Benevolent Fund". This is how deserving people in the community are assisted to reach their goals or to improve their situation by means of a monetary gift. I can tell you that I was blown away by the kindness and generosity of this Christmas blessing bestowed upon our eldest daughter. As we have not been attending church there for a while, these folks had not seen our daughter lately but took it upon themselves to let her know that she is missed, appreciated and thought of--- what a kind thing to do--- especially in these times of economic uncertainty for so many!

     I am reminded daily that there are good, kind people out there; some you meet at church and some of them you meet elsewhere. Kindness, the intention to be kind is part of their way of life. The Dalai Lama, the spiritual leader of Tibet, has been quoted as saying: "My religion is kindness." Today our family is reminded that that is true of many others as well--- folks in our very own town. Thank you WRCC!

Special 2

      I'm sure that you have experienced wanting to be in two places at the same time. It happened again to me on Monday: the public hearing for Harmony was taking place at the same time as our daughter's Special Olympics basketball practice where I have been volunteering.

     Harmony is a cause that has been at the forefront of our minds for over a year now. We were determined to see it through and support the amazing folks at UNITI who have been championing the case for inclusive, affordable, supportive housing for disabled folks and others. Special O basketball has been short of volunteers lately and without a safe ratio of coaches & volunteers to athletes, the program can't run. As it turned out we got to both places and were able to register our support for Harmony while also getting to basketball practice.

     Special Olympics basketball has become so important to us over the years. We have seen the coaches work miracles in increasing skill levels, confidence and camaraderie among these dozens of athletes who range in age from eight to fifty eight. For some of the athletes this is the one activity in their week that they really look forward to!

     And as for Harmony, we have been watching and waiting and trying to get the word out. This issue is so important to people like our daughter. The folks at UNITI have been working tirelessly to get this much needed project off the ground. We are in awe of their energy, dedication and unrelenting desire to see this community built. Now their hard work has paid off; Harmony will go ahead!

     Anyway I'm glad that we were able to get to both places. It was well worth the drive and so rewarding. I am humbled by all these special, amazing people at Special Olympics and UNITI; they are heroes and I applaud them. Thank you all for all that you do!!

Marriage

     My eighty-eight year old father recently had a bout of food poisoning or something like it and was in bed, nauseous, dizzy, sweating and having diarrhea. Before we knew what it was, it seemed serious. I ended up calling 811 at the suggestion of a friend and had a productive conversation with a nurse. We came to the realization that perhaps calling an ambulance would be best. My father did not want to go to the hospital and let us know it in no uncertain terms. So my mother did something totally unexpected--- she got into bed with my dad to talk to him and offer comfort. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world to her and to me, it was beautifully sweet. It was a photograph that I wish I could have captured and it is a picture that will stick with me forever.

     When I take my parents to church on Sunday they often hold hands and seem so content to be there together, sitting side by side, singing together, as they have done for almost their entire lives. To see my old dad, unable to stand for long, standing and loudly singing "I Vow to Thee My Country" with my mum at his side brings tears to my eyes. Again I wish I could preserve these images forever but I will have to be content with the ones in my mind’s eye.

     There is something so lovely about a marriage that has lasted decades and has withstood the rigors of life. They haven’t had perfect lives or a flawless relationship, but to me they represent faithfulness, patience and perseverance. Their story is not yet over but they show us all what it takes to be there until the end. Just love.