What happens in a gathering of people when everyone doesn't get along? Whenever groups of people get together on a regular basis, these groups go through phases which contribute to the life of the team and keep it strong and viable or tear it apart. This is all part of something called group dynamics which is a fascinating look at systems and how they work or don't.
When I did grief groups with hospice we talked about these phases which were based on the work of Bruce Tuckman who called them: Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing and Re-forming. The point of this is that every group whether it be a family, an office staff, a girl's group or a PAC go through these stages at various times depending on the life-time of the group and the goals the group wishes to accomplish.
Sometimes if we are people who dislike confrontation, particularly outside of our family, we feel uncomfortable with the storming stage which is when conflict arises and is dealt with constructively by the group. If this positive conflict resolution doesn't occur then the group can become stuck at this stage and eventually become disabled and fall apart. If the team gets through this however and moves on to the norming stage, the group can become very effective at achieving its desired goal.
We all have times when we become less than patient with the folks around us. I know I do. The trick is to remember why we are there and what we are trying to accomplish. Its easy to drop out when the going gets tough; sometimes we are not up for the fight. Anything worthwhile is worth fighting for and if we truly believe in the value of our perceived goal, then we must be ready to step up.
That sounds like a lot of cliches and it is---- a whole pile of them. The basic truth behind them though is solid: Carpe momentum. And then hold on. My goal now is to try and be more present; to seize those teachable moments and to try and make them valuable. Even if it means a little conflict here and there or some uncomfortable feelings. It'll be worth it--- I'm sure of it.
When I did grief groups with hospice we talked about these phases which were based on the work of Bruce Tuckman who called them: Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing and Re-forming. The point of this is that every group whether it be a family, an office staff, a girl's group or a PAC go through these stages at various times depending on the life-time of the group and the goals the group wishes to accomplish.
Sometimes if we are people who dislike confrontation, particularly outside of our family, we feel uncomfortable with the storming stage which is when conflict arises and is dealt with constructively by the group. If this positive conflict resolution doesn't occur then the group can become stuck at this stage and eventually become disabled and fall apart. If the team gets through this however and moves on to the norming stage, the group can become very effective at achieving its desired goal.
We all have times when we become less than patient with the folks around us. I know I do. The trick is to remember why we are there and what we are trying to accomplish. Its easy to drop out when the going gets tough; sometimes we are not up for the fight. Anything worthwhile is worth fighting for and if we truly believe in the value of our perceived goal, then we must be ready to step up.
That sounds like a lot of cliches and it is---- a whole pile of them. The basic truth behind them though is solid: Carpe momentum. And then hold on. My goal now is to try and be more present; to seize those teachable moments and to try and make them valuable. Even if it means a little conflict here and there or some uncomfortable feelings. It'll be worth it--- I'm sure of it.
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