When you are not sleeping the world seems like a crueler place. Snoring partners, tick-tocking clocks and enthusiastic roosters all seem to take on a dastardly edge. Even my digital radio alarm clock, my friend in all things organized, now seems like his own evil twin; he positively gloats as the minutes trot by and I watch, pillow and insomnia in tow.
I have always needed to read before bed, always looked forward to it and the escape it brought, not to mention the screen-clearing it afforded before sleep could be had. Now I am reading at both ends of my night, and it is not pleasurable, only a means to an end. I have not watched television in bed for years (we are certified Netflix fans) and I realize now why I stopped. Those commercials, repetitive, insipid, ridiculous, did I mention, repetitive, will drive me insane. ( And believe me, these days I don't have far to go!) A certain cat food commercial with the catchy jingle, "Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow....." seen 3 times in 15 minutes remains my personal un-favourite. (Strangely enough, they were still using that, back when I did watch TV. Not funny then, still not funny now, really!)
I suppose that as a 50 something woman, graying and now groggy with fatigue, I should not be surprised. Insomnia is apparently a woman's lot at this time of life. However it is a relatively new experience for me, especially on this scale and so I am flummoxed. What to do? Warm milk, alcohol, pills of all kinds are sometimes suggested. My problem is exhaustion brings nausea but I am too tired to care; I just feel awful! I am not looking for sympathy, just the understanding from others that I am functioning at way below my usual game. With less than half the sleep I used to get, I am lucky if I even know what game we're playing, much less the score. When a dear friend called me the other day and woke me from a snooze in the middle of the afternoon, I knew I had reached a new low. I now know that I am tired and old and now napping.... The end can't be far off! At least I'll get some sleep?
I have always needed to read before bed, always looked forward to it and the escape it brought, not to mention the screen-clearing it afforded before sleep could be had. Now I am reading at both ends of my night, and it is not pleasurable, only a means to an end. I have not watched television in bed for years (we are certified Netflix fans) and I realize now why I stopped. Those commercials, repetitive, insipid, ridiculous, did I mention, repetitive, will drive me insane. ( And believe me, these days I don't have far to go!) A certain cat food commercial with the catchy jingle, "Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow....." seen 3 times in 15 minutes remains my personal un-favourite. (Strangely enough, they were still using that, back when I did watch TV. Not funny then, still not funny now, really!)
I suppose that as a 50 something woman, graying and now groggy with fatigue, I should not be surprised. Insomnia is apparently a woman's lot at this time of life. However it is a relatively new experience for me, especially on this scale and so I am flummoxed. What to do? Warm milk, alcohol, pills of all kinds are sometimes suggested. My problem is exhaustion brings nausea but I am too tired to care; I just feel awful! I am not looking for sympathy, just the understanding from others that I am functioning at way below my usual game. With less than half the sleep I used to get, I am lucky if I even know what game we're playing, much less the score. When a dear friend called me the other day and woke me from a snooze in the middle of the afternoon, I knew I had reached a new low. I now know that I am tired and old and now napping.... The end can't be far off! At least I'll get some sleep?
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