Winter

     Having emigrated to Trois Rivieres, Quebec from England as a toddler with my family in January 1960 I have known my share of cold winters. Now that I have lived in the Lower Mainland of British Columbia for over forty years I am a fan of the west coast winter--- generally mild, more rain than snow, the occasional white Christmas. I have also lived in Louisiana and Ohio in the winter. B.C. is best for me.

     Watching the chickadees devour the black-oil sunflower seeds in one of my bird feeders on a -9 degree Celsius day (about 15 degrees Fahrenheit for those of you in Louisiana and Ohio) I wonder about a couple of things: where do all those tiny little birds, the chickadees, the sparrows, the finches and the hummingbirds, especially the hummingbirds go at night? Trying to keep my hummingbird feeder from freezing has been a seemingly futile endeavour; rotating each scarf encased bottle as often as once every hour or two is the best I can do at this point. The hummingbird feeder heaters will not be in stock today.

     Also, I wonder what were my parents thinking coming to Canada in the middle of this type of winter? It must have been similar to the situation the hummingbirds face--- unfamiliar weather of seasonal extremes to be borne as cheerfully as possible until spring arrived. Or maybe that's a bit of a stretch. Suffice it to say that as magical as a cold and frosty winter was for me as a child, as an adult I am happy to be here. Here where we use rain boots more than snow boots and umbrellas more than snow shovels. Here where a white Christmas is a wish to be fulfilled as long as it's melted and long gone by New Year's Eve.... A happy and healthy 2022 to you!

Appreciation

 Dear Surrey Memorial ICU, Medical and Emergency Staff,

When we pulled up to the doors of your Emergency Department just over two weeks ago we had no idea what my husband faced. We knew that we all had tested positive for COVID but each one of us had experienced it so differently that we did not know what lay ahead for him.

Our eldest daughter had mild almost non-existent symptoms and as she has epilepsy, we were relieved that she made it through so well. Fortunately our younger daughter was away at university. I had the full range of symptoms but none so severe that I could not recover on my own at home.

     My husband was not vaccinated however and his experience of COVID pneumonia was very severe. By the time he got to you he needed 100% oxygen and other medications. The scarring on his lungs, his blood clots and his irregular heartbeat were all life threatening. His prognosis was frightening to say the least.

     Fortunately we made it to you in time and after a week in ICU and another week on the 7th Floor, he was cleared to come home. We feel as though our prayers (and those of extensive family and friends) were answered but we definitely do not discount the excellent and experienced care he received at SMH. Everyone on staff treated us with the utmost respect and care. We believe that all our lives would be very different if our paths had not crossed. We are so grateful that they did. Thank you to everyone involved!

Sincerely,

Our Family

Virus 4

     First the basics: cough, sore throat, runny nose and fatigue. Then the next few: fever, chills, body aches and headache. Add the odd: tinnitus, nausea and pink eye. Then the losses: loss of appetite, loss of energy, loss of sense of taste and of smell, and in my case, loss of hearing in one ear. Combine for ten to fourteen days with two vaccinations, extensive time at home in bed and you have it: a breakthrough case of COVD-19. Unremarkable, unavoidable and completely survivable but something that I would not wish upon anyone.

Playing

      After months and months our daughter is back to the courts, basketball courts that is. Special Olympics BC basketball is back on and our daughter is glad. She is glad to see her teammates and friends, glad to see the coaches and their helpers, glad to be back playing again. Of course things look a little different: there are masks to wear, hand sanitizer to distribute, basketballs to clean and distance to keep apart. But it is all good. Everyone seems happy to be back and part of this valuable and fun program. And I myself have a new volunteer role, keeping track of everyone and making sure that folks are vaccinated, masks are worn and hands are sanitized by everyone going in and out of the gym. It sounds time-consuming and it is. Not only do coaches have to remind everyone about respecting each other but now there is an added layer of health concerns which is vital considering that many folks with disabilities have comorbidities or additional conditions that make their health fragile. Whether they have autism or epilepsy, Down syndrome or cerebral palsy, fetal alcohol syndrome or nonverbal learning disorder everyone there was happy to be back and happy to do whatever had to be done to get there. And really isn't this what Special Olympics is all about; their mission is "dedicated to enriching the lives of individuals with intellectual disabilities through sport." And you can't do that with the gyms locked, the courts empty, the pools unused and the lanes quiet. So yes, the game is on and we are excited. It was definitely worth the wait to see all those happy familiar faces. Thank you again SOBC basketball coaches! Your dedication to all of us is appreciated....

Home 2

     We are bitterly disappointed by the results of the Surrey City Council meeting that saw Harmony rejected by the councilors by a vote of 5-4 with the mayor again refusing to support this worthwhile and much needed project. And again there was no explanation as to why this occurred. Most of us take having a home for granted. Most of us lived with our parents as children and then moved into various rental accommodations as young adults. Then if we had the money we found a way to get a mortgage and spend the rest of our lives paying it down. That is my experience anyway. And having lived in B.C. for over forty years I know how expensive and elusive housing here can be. But I have always had a place to live. How about you? 

     Most of us assume that our children will follow in our housing footsteps, more or less. We assume that they will have a place to live. But what about if they were intellectually disabled? What about if they were underemployed and could not afford the expensive rents currently demanded in most parts of the Lower Mainland? What if they were new to this country and needed community support to get started here in Canada? What if they were a single parent? A retiree? Someone new to the job market without a great deal of savings? A student with loans to pay who needed a break to get established in the community? 

     Fortunately for us our daughter comes from a very large family of caring folks who would probably help her. But this is not true for everyone. In this community however we have this amazing opportunity to provide a place to live for everyone; a spot where disabled people, retirees, students, immigrants and single parent families could afford to call home. This place is called Harmony. Tomorrow the people who want to live there are going to come together on site for a photo opportunity and a reporter from the local paper will be there as well. Our daughter and many of her friends and acquaintances will be there. These are people that want to live somewhere special. They want to live in Harmony! Please check out @uniti4all.com for more information. #WeNeedHarmony.

Lawrence

      Dear Dad,

     You're getting on...I know this because you gave me your D. H. Lawrence collection. Thirty-nine books, most of them by him, some just about him, are mine now. You did it casually, just asking in the middle of another conversation if I would like them. I said yes of course. I might be worried except you have been getting rid of a lot of possessions lately. I think that if Mum weren't still alive you might be living in an almost empty house. She likes to keep things and you like to give them away....
     Your admiration for D. H. Lawrence started just after I left home. I was about seventeen years old. I seem to remember that you took a continuing education course in English Literature and fell in love with his ideas about love. You had grown up in England at a time when he was considered a very controversial writer. One or two of his books may of even been banned. I remember a difficult conversation about that one night after I brought my college English professor home for dinner. Suffice it to say that my teacher's opinion of Lawrence did not endear him to either one of you at the time.

     I also hold Lawrence in high regard. His writing is forthright, beautiful and honest. It was the first writing about love, sex and class that I remember reading. The glimpses he gives into other's lives at other times and in other worlds are exceptionally clear and unapologetic. 

      Anyway I left home and ended up in Louisiana married and apparently allergic to fire ant stings. An anaphylactic experience sealed the deal when I almost died. And so my husband and I came back to Canada. I clearly remember you and I going to see the film "Lady Chatterley's Lover" in Calgary. It was the first 18+ movie I had ever seen. I remember wondering aloud if they would check my identification. You laughed at the idea because I was so obviously attending the film with my father, according to you. The film was beautiful, real and vivid and honest; I loved it. I bought a copy of it on VHS as soon as I could and watched it many times.

     The fact that you are giving away your most long-kept and precious books and the apparent relief it gives you that they were wanted by a family member tells me that you are looking at the end. We all look at the end from time to time but I would imagine that being in your late eighties gives you a particularly close vantage point. I know that you aren't afraid to die. Your faith gives you answers to any questions about what comes next. I know your own parents turned to God when your eighteen year old younger brother Michael committed suicide. Your life was not always easy especially at the beginning but according to you, you have been blessed: a strong marriage, five children, many grandchildren and great grandchildren, an interesting engineering career and good health. 

     I just wanted to tell you that you have been a wonderful father--- a great dad and a good friend. Even when we didn't agree on things (many things as I recall in my teenage years) you have always been there for me and for that I am forever grateful. And every book that I pick up for the rest of my life will remind me of you, no matter the author and that is a gift for which I could never thank you enough.

I love you Dad! 

     

     

Memories

    

     My aging brain plays the usual tricks on me...."What is that actor's name?"... "When is that appointment again?"... "Who did we see at the Orpheum, the last time we went?" You know, when a word won't come to you right when you want it and it shows up later?  Maybe you don't know but I do. And of course I worry about that, like any other soon-to-be sixty-four year old. But that's another story. 

      Lately I have been seeing more and more posts on Facebook from my high school peers and friends. The familiarity and the nice feeling I get from seeing their faces, whether old, like mine is now or young, when I knew them and saw them pretty much everyday is surprising to me. These are folks that I have not seen almost without exception for almost fifty years! Fifty! Well actually forty-seven but who's counting? I guess I am....

     Perusing my long lost recently found 1974 grad year book again was like greeting an old friend, albeit one that I have not seen in a very long time. So many familiar faces, vague memories, old remembrances and the photos! People I knew looking exactly like people I now know on social media just younger. Maybe everyone else is sick of us Baby Boomers reminiscing but I'm not. I guess I love how people look like themselves even when a lot of time has passed. I am happy that our younger daughter wears a ring I wore when I was her age. It's cool to share a Jackson Five video from 1974 with our older daughter, back when Michael was sixteen and looked it. I don't mind that tie dye and flared jeans are back. I have never been able to find a different way to wear my hair other than the way I wore it back then... and I guess that finally, I am okay with that.