Stella

     We just welcomed a new puppy into our household which is a joyous, chaotic, busy and boisterous undertaking. Our girl Stella is just 12 weeks old and as a mini Irish Doodle she is the epitome of cuteness: fluffy, small, full of personality with a mischievous streak a mile long. I am not going to tell you that she is brilliant or knows everything about the world around her. She doesn't. She didn't know how to climb stairs or that wasps will sting you if given half a chance. But in the two weeks that I have known her here's a few of the things that even an old lady like me could learn from her....

1. Life is short. Lie down on the grass, in the grass, with the grass and enjoy it. There's nothing better! It's why God invented grass!

2. Summer is even shorter. Look up every chance you get and notice the sky, the clouds, the birds and the bugs. It's the best. And it might not last long.

3. Keep up to date with your "I love yous". Everyone doesn't always appreciate the affection you have for them or how you express it in the moment but that's okay. When they need it they will remember your kisses and hugs and feel better for them.

4. Sharing is so important. Especially if you have a much bigger big sister named Blue. Let everyone play with your toys. Let everyone eat your food. Let everyone drink your water. When they have extra, chances are they will share with you too. It's worth the gamble.

5. Take time to rest. It's essential that you get enough sleep. Whenever you feel like it, just stop and lie down. And if someone else wants to snuggle with you, so much the better. If anyone objects they can walk around you. And they will.

6. Listen, listen, listen. A lot of the people around you know a thing or two about the ways things work. If someone says "sit" go ahead and sit. It can't hurt and there may be a treat in store for you. You never know unless you try!

     Anyway we are thrilled with Miss Stella. She is the answer to our eldest daughter's prayers and a marvelous addition to our family. Whoever said that a puppy is a lot of work wasn't wrong. But our girl Stella is making all of that effort very worthwhile. In case you can't tell we love her already!

Lauren's Story

Pals

     Both of our daughters started new jobs this month. Our youngest now works at a nearby convenience store and she likes it. The store is busy and the people she works with are nice. Our eldest who has an intellectual disability, has been partnering with WorkBC and through them has found a job that is not convenient but it is fun! She is working with horses and people at a therapeutic riding organization called Pony Pals in Delta and she loves it! HandyDART is getting her there and back everyday and the other women who work there are kind so it's great. 

     The resume and interview workshops offered by WorkBC were a big help. The director of the organization was very impressed by our daughter's preparedness and attitude. Although cleaning stalls, grooming, feeding and watering horses seems a long way away from house and dog sitting, which is what our daughter has been doing lately, it is a perfect fit. It is the connections with others, both human and animal which make for enjoyable and fulfilling employment.

     The therapeutic riding association where she now works offers riding and training in a calm, accepting environment and also education about equine health. The children and youth who attend have access to lovely, gentle horses and knowledgeable staff. Our daughter longed to reconnect with horses after having a pony as a young child so she is really happy about this placement. The work is physical and satisfying, the environment, friendly and inclusive. The only down side is that the commute is long compared to what she is used to but she is making good use of the time and enjoying the novelty of public transportation. 

     So far it looks to be a busy summer of work for both our girls. We are grateful for the opportunities given them and proud of the contributions that they are making. We know that every experience, positive or not, teaches valuable life lessons. And a big thank you to Munisha and Lisa of WorkBC for their diligence and kindness. We appreciate you!

"If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way." Martin Luther King Jr.

     

Trust 2

     Whenever I think of "finances" my eyes glaze over: investments, taxes, dividends, stocks, mutual funds, even planning and wills....Ugh! You'd think something as vital as dollars and cents would hold my attention but it doesn't. But one of my sisters-in-law mentioned how it important it is that families with a disabled child investigate something called a Henson Trust. So I did. The disabled or differently-abled of the world are usually always under-employed and therefore often live in poverty. This is not a happy reality for parents to consider.

     A Henson Trust was named after the man who first fought and won his appeal to allow his disabled child to keep her disability cheque despite having benefitted from a trust that he had set up for her. His daughter Audra would not receive any legal claim to the trust but it could potentially pay for her expenses while allowing her to continue to receive disability support payments. I discovered a very helpful document published by TD Wealth that fully explains this trust called "Estate Planning with a Henson Trust". I am sure that your bank probably publishes something similar. It covers the pros and cons in an easy five minute read. The benefits to our disabled daughter are obvious. One of the problems of a Henson Trust is finding a trustee whose interests are not in conflict with the trust such as a sibling. As with all things financial and legal, the assistance of a trusted professional is vital.

     My largest worry as a parent of an intellectually disabled child is her financial future. Anything I can do to ensure her security after my husband and I have died is of the utmost interest to me. And sixty-five is looming nearer! So while I generally don't want to think about money, wills and the like, this topic, a Henson Trust is something that I am investigating further. And the sooner the better! Thanks Melanie....

Work 2

     Our eldest daughter has been partnering with Work BC for several months since being laid off from her previous and up-to-now only job as a greenhouse worker. They have provided workshops regarding resume writing and interview skills as well as a complete vocational and interest assessment. They really have been very attentive and thorough! As she has decided to work in the area of pet care going forward, there is still much to learn and experience to gain. My husband and I have been life-long dog owners but there are practical health and safety issues to be considered. Several small but regular cat-sitting and dog-sitting jobs have filled the time in between SOBC basketball, long walks with our own dog and volunteer work. Our daughter now truly feels ready to begin the next chapter of her life.

     Yesterday she spoke to me about how difficult it is to be atypical in a world where differences are not always celebrated. As a young woman with an intellectual disability, our daughter knows that what is most important to her is to have meaningful work: a job with regular hours where she can feel valued and make a reasonable wage while still enjoying the small pleasures life can offer like friendship, family and time to enjoy them. And while she is so appreciative of the work that she has done so far, she is ready, willing and able to do more now. My husband and I are proud to have raised such a well-grounded, friendly and hard-working young woman. We're all looking forward to what comes next!

UNITI: Inclusive Housing

One Again

      On this day in 2018 our daughter was one year seizure free. On February 7th, 2022 our daughter will once again be one year seizure free. What is it about the month of February I wonder? This time the happy day falls on our return to Special Olympics basketball after an over-long holiday break due to COVID restrictions. Our eldest will use this opportunity to share some Purple Day bracelets with her fellow athletes, courtesy of the lovely folks from The Centre for Epilepsy and Seizure Education in B.C. with offices in Abbotsford. 

     We take no break from seizures for granted; everywhere she walks or spends time alone, every shower, bath and swim are periods of great stress followed by even greater relief. We don't live in fear but we are vigilant. Medications are taken on time, sleep is encouraged and eating regularly and well are necessary. Fortunately our daughter is good about looking after herself; no one wants her to be seizure free more than she does.

     One day perhaps she will be years and years free from seizures. Her last run was almost three and a half years! In the meantime we will keep on counting and hope to be back here, a year from now, writing about an incredible second year of freedom from seizures.  

     Please remember that if you see someone having a seizure, do stay with them and keep them safe, cushion their head, time the seizure and if it's longer than five minutes or there's two in a row call 9-1-1. Thanks!